#1 Psy - Gangnam Style
Well this is the first song I've had to discuss that wasn't in English. It's cool to see this here actually. I kinda like the song. It's got a catchy little beat going on under Psy's vocals and, though I have absolutely no clue what he's saying, other than 'sexy lady' I know all about the sexy ladies, I do like his vocals too. The video makes profoundly no sense, but I mean maybe it somehow relates to what he is actually saying. Let me look at this and see if I can find something here........ nope! I have no clue what he could possibly saying that relates to these seemingly absolutely random visuals of Psy dancing about in various nice clothes in various arbitrary locations. Unless of course the song is his just spouting out seeming senseless garbage and the video provides visuals of these random things. The only other thing I can think is maybe the song itself is about the nature of randomness. That would actually be very clever at that point to have dancing about in areas that were most likely decided by a monkey with a spinning dartboard. But I doubt this is the case. I don't know. I don't speak, I'm guessing it's Korean cause Psy is Korean; through I guess his being Korean doesn't mean he can't sing in say, Chinese. But I'm banking on Korean for the language here.
#2 One Direction - Live While We're Young
Second One Direction song I've talked about and guess what... they still suck. Honestly, I just don't understand the popularity of these guys. Is it cause they are cute? Because nothing that young can be called hot. Seriously, if you find these boys attractive, and are old enough to actually have listened to enough music to have a taste in music, that's bad. Ugh what more can I say about this? It's just boring. Congratulations are in order I suppose, you made a party song that's boring, which I suppose is worthy of mention if only for how epic of fail that is. There's nothing here. 'Let's go crazy tonight! Yeah were gonna live! (Not actual lyrics, but close to them) Oh Fuck..... damn I'm sorry to tell you this but if you are young and are in fact not going crazy crazy crazy at night, then I regret to inform you that you seem to have died at some point, I'm so sorry you had to find out this way. This song is so bland an uninteresting I can't pull anything else worth reading out of my brain so I won't waste anymore time on it.
#3 Carly Rae Jepsen - Call Me Maybe
So this song is alright. It's not that good, but it's alright. I wanna
take a moment here to talk about some of the lyrics. "Before you came
into my life, I missed you so bad." Wait what? Before he came into your
life you didn't know he existed. How can you miss something you don't
know exists? "It's hard to look right at you baby." Really Mrs. Jepsen?
You found an individual so amazingly good looking and beautiful that he
is on par with the visual appeal of the Greek king of gods Zeus himself,
and if you were to gaze directly upon his true form your puny human
eyes would burst into flame at heralding such raw magnificence as him.
Now then, the big on, the chorus itself. "Hey I just met you, and this
is crazy, but here's my number. So call me maybe." Jepsen you whore!
Giving your phone number to a man you just met I bet you let him look at
your ankles too didn't you. What would your mother think of you? And
the car washing scene, honestly, if you're that desperate to get him to
see you, take off your shirt, walk over to him, grab his head, and shove
it between your tits. You'll get his attention I promise. But like I
said at the beginning, the songs alright.
#4 Taylor Swift - We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together
What.... what is this? It says Taylor Swift, but I don't think it is. This isn't the type of music she makes. I don't who this pretender is, but if I was Taylor, I would sue. As far as I'm concerned the only way I can think of Taylor is in her long flowing lyrics in Teardrops On My Guitar. And this, this is like a pop song, and not a very good one either. I get artists wanting to expand and reach out to different genres, but this just did not work for me. Like I said I always think of her long emotional voice and the soft guitar in the background, and.... I got this instead. I might have been a bit kinder to this song if it didn't have Taylor's name on it and was instead made some band I'd never heard of. I don't really listen to Taylor. I can think of only a few times I've ever intentionally went looking for one of her songs and when I did, it wasn't to hear this. This is just disappointing to me.
#5 One Direction - What Makes You Beautiful
Ugh this song I don't even wanna talk about it. Cause the longer it takes me to write this review the longer it is till my brain can lump up everything about this awful music and throw it the fuck out so I never have to think about it again. No! Fuck. Okay I'm gonna do this. Song is the dude telling the shy girl that she's pretty cause she doesn't know she's pretty and flaunt it. Eh I guess I agree with that. Now then, I hate the singers voices. I hate how the lead enunciates words. The whole video is generic as hell consisting of people on a beach and the fucking director still put his name on the damn thing. Really John Urbano? If I made a bland ass utterly boring video with a terrible fucking band like this bunch of talentless pricks in it I sure as hell wouldn't have put my name in bold lettering on it. Now I've never heard anything else from One Direction, but if this song is any indication I sure as hell am not running out to buy their new album any fucking time soon. I'm done here. This song is awful and unless you enjoy awful music I recommend you avoid it.
#4 Taylor Swift - We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together
What.... what is this? It says Taylor Swift, but I don't think it is. This isn't the type of music she makes. I don't who this pretender is, but if I was Taylor, I would sue. As far as I'm concerned the only way I can think of Taylor is in her long flowing lyrics in Teardrops On My Guitar. And this, this is like a pop song, and not a very good one either. I get artists wanting to expand and reach out to different genres, but this just did not work for me. Like I said I always think of her long emotional voice and the soft guitar in the background, and.... I got this instead. I might have been a bit kinder to this song if it didn't have Taylor's name on it and was instead made some band I'd never heard of. I don't really listen to Taylor. I can think of only a few times I've ever intentionally went looking for one of her songs and when I did, it wasn't to hear this. This is just disappointing to me.
#5 One Direction - What Makes You Beautiful
Ugh this song I don't even wanna talk about it. Cause the longer it takes me to write this review the longer it is till my brain can lump up everything about this awful music and throw it the fuck out so I never have to think about it again. No! Fuck. Okay I'm gonna do this. Song is the dude telling the shy girl that she's pretty cause she doesn't know she's pretty and flaunt it. Eh I guess I agree with that. Now then, I hate the singers voices. I hate how the lead enunciates words. The whole video is generic as hell consisting of people on a beach and the fucking director still put his name on the damn thing. Really John Urbano? If I made a bland ass utterly boring video with a terrible fucking band like this bunch of talentless pricks in it I sure as hell wouldn't have put my name in bold lettering on it. Now I've never heard anything else from One Direction, but if this song is any indication I sure as hell am not running out to buy their new album any fucking time soon. I'm done here. This song is awful and unless you enjoy awful music I recommend you avoid it.
