Green's Top 10 TV Shows

Alright so the other day I decided I wanted to do a top ten tv shows countdown.  I’m not saying these are the best shows ever made by mankind. I’m not saying that every moment of every episode of these shows is pure gold. All this list is, are the ten tv shows that came to mind when I was trying to decide what to put on this list. You don’t like it? That’s cool. You probably won’t agree with me. I don’t mind it. And before someone asks why Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones, Doctor Who, and Firefly aren’t present, I have not seen those shows.

Number  10: Teenage mutant ninja turtles

I don’t think I should have to explain this one. Or in any way justify my choice. It’s TMNT. I do want to clarify which TMNT I’m talking about though, just so that nobody gets the wrong idea. I hear there’s some new version on cartoon network (or some station like that) and that it’s stupid as fuck. I’m talking about the one that ran from 1987 to 1996.

Number 9: Air Gear


And this is the point where I confess to something I’m not sure I have on this blog or not. I like anime. I really like anime and if you read the rest of this list that will be made more apparent. Air Gear is and anime centered around a kid named Ikki, often called crow. The entire concept of air gear is that humans have managed to create super tiny motors that can fit inside the wheels on a pair of skates thus creating skates that allow you to move super fast and do otherwise impossible stunts and tricks. What do most people use these devices for? Beating the living shit out of each other. The show deals with Ikki creating a gang of riders who battle other gangs all of them trying to prove they’re the tops dogs and climb this often referenced god-tower called the tropium. (I definitely spelled that wrong) One of the things I like most about the show is seeing Ikki’s crew try to get along with each other. The first two members of the crew are his long time friends Kazu and Onigiuri. They then add a half ton goliath named Buccha to the group and finally a split personality kid who’s either trying desperately to get into Ikki’s pants or is a deranged psychopath and is called Akito or Agito respectively and generally seen wearing a straight jacket either way. The show has a nice mix of action and comedy and honestly would probably be higher on this list if it hadn’t been cut after one season and had actually had an ending. Fucking tv execs. I hate you guys.

Number 8: Psych


Psych follows a pair of detectives Shawn and Gus. Shawn is a self proclaimed psychic with a dirty secret. He isn’t actually psychic. What he is, is extremely perceptive and good at piecing things together from little details which allows him to solve a lot of cases most ordinary cops couldn’t and with a little dramatic flair of him saying things like “I’m having a vision!” it allows him to pretend he’s supernatural. The show is a comedy about the hilarious situations Shawn and Gus find themselves wrapped up in while trying to solve various cases for the Santa Barbra police department, usually murder, like 99% murder. A lot of fucking people die in Santa Barbra, sometimes two or three in an episode. The number one strength of this show is definitely the actors/characters. Shawn and Gus themselves have extremely good chemistry and a lot of the supporting characters are also very enjoyable to have on screen, like Shawn’s father (who taught him all the tricks he uses to fake clairvoyance), the down to earth, no-bullshit cop Lassiter,  The idiotic, but well-intention cop Buzz, and the totally fucking creepy mortician Woody. (To those of you who know the show I’m aware I didn’t mention Juliet. Her character is important, and by no mean unlikable, but she’s not one of my favorites.)

Number 7: Case Closed



Case Closed is another anime. It centers around a high school kid named Jimmy Kudo, only for the vast majority of the show he’s actually a grade school kid named Conan Edagowa. I’ll explain. Kudo is a detective who helps his police department with some of their tougher cases. One day he goes out on a date with his friend Rachel. While on this date he sees some shady shit going on and his detective side gets him to go look in on it. Big fucking surprise, he gets spotted. The thugs use a drug on him which is supposed to kill him and leave no trace; the perfect crime. Only that’s not what it does. Instead the drug causes him to turn back into a child. Fearful that if he reveals his true Identity the bandits will return to finish what they started, he hides his true identity and slips into the person of Conan Edagowa. The main meat of the show is that Jimmy/Conan wants to find these fuckbags so he can find out what was in the drug and cure himself (A reasonable desire given the situation) as well as put the sons of bitches behind bars. However, being a pint-sized human doesn’t really entitle him to much information, so to get the information he needs he goes to live with Rachel and her father who is a drunk, lazy, out of work private detective name of Richard Moore. Conan’s amazing skills, along with a tranquilizer he uses to knock the man unconscious and a voice-modulating bowtie he uses to pretend to talk as the unconscious Moore gain the detective fame and access to more cases. What I like most about the show are seeing all the different ways the writers come up with to murder people (since almost every episode is Conan-as-Moore solving a homicide) and watching Conan work out the puzzle. It can actually be a rather fun game trying to figure it out before Conan does his big reveal.

Number 6: Yu Yu Hakusho


What happens when a punk ass high school kid gets hit buy a car trying to save a little boys life? He dies. The problem here is nobody was ready for him to die so his place in spirit world/heaven/hell/Valhalla/purgatory/candyland/whatever you believe in, isn’t set up yet. So the grim reaper and the king of hell’s son agree to allow the kid to become a spirit detective. Basically it’s his job to deal with mother fuckers who shouldn’t be dicking around in the living world but are. You know that movie R.I.P.D. that came out recently? This is like that, only not dumb. So the main man, Yusuke, assembles a team consisting of his best friend/rival Kuwabara, a demon-fox named Kurama, and a three eyed short guy with a sword named Hiei. These four then proceed to kick, punch, bash, blast, hack, slash, poison, explode, disintegrate, impale, and otherwise murder (I'm 99% sure all of those happen at least once) the living fuck out of everything in the way of whatever is between them and their current goal. It’s quite enjoyable.

Number 5: Walking Dead


First off, I bet you already know this one. Second, even if you don’t take one guess on the basic plot line of this show based on the title. Go ahead I’ll wait. No not giant alien bullfrog-bagel hybrids who shoot laser beams made of cotton candy. What are you fucking retarded..... though, if a show with that premise did exist, I could see how it would be quite interesting. Since the aliens shoot beams of cotton candy would they be friendly? Or is the cotton candy fired at such a high velocity it's like a fluffy sugar bullet? Or would humans even take the time to find out if the aliens were hostile of not before attacking first and provoking what would have been an otherwise peaceful race? Somebody make this fucking show. I wanna see it. Oh right walking dead..... yeah. That show is about zombies.  I’m not sure what to really say about this one. It’s basically every other zombie story. Zombies, small group of human survivors desperately trying not to become zombies or the dinner of zombies. You’ve heard this story before, I don’t feel like retelling it. If it’s so over done why is this one of my best shows ever? Well cause amc really knocked the ball out of the park on this one. Sometimes you don’t need a new idea, sometimes it’s enough to just do an old idea really really fucking well. That’s what amc has here.

I'm aware nearly everybody in that picture is dead, but I liked that picture.

Number 4: Utawarerumono


With a title like that I don’t think I have to tell you this is an anime. I’m not sure what it actually means, but Google translate suggested “What is sung”. I’ve seen the entity of this show, and that title doesn’t really make sense to me but… Japan so, ya know. Anyway the show revolves around a guy who wakes up with the most common story telling trope ever; amnesia. Also he has a mask stuck to his face he can’t get off. He helps the village kill a magic tiger god and in short order ends up emperor of the whole country and is leading wars against rival states. Look it’s been a little while since I’ve seen this, so I’m a little fuzzy on the details. But I will say this, I’ve seen a fair bit of anime and this one is my absolute favorite. It’s really really fucking good, and writing this up makes me want to watch it again.

Number 3: House


It’s fucking house. Surely I don’t need to explain this. Ok okay I’ll explain it and not call you Shirley. Gregory house is a narcissistic vicodin-addicted diagnostician who is very very good at his job. And bad at damn near everything else, such as not breaking the law, being decent to people, maintaining a relationship, and other things that would be part of what constitutes a normal life. However, like many terrible people, House is extremely enjoyable to watch… from a safe distance where you can’t get caught up in his bullshit. My only real complaint about this show is that around 40% of any episode could be safely swapped out for any other episode and basically nobody would notice. Random person gets sick. Nobody knows why. They get admitted to the hospital. They almost die several times while house yells at his team cutting down all their theories. House is an asshole to the patients family/friends. House figures it out and cures the person right at the end. That being said, I do own and have seen every single episode of the show and even though 40% of all of them are basically the same, it’s all good. There’s only one episode I can recall not liking, and that’s probably mostly by virtue of seeing it too much. For anyone whose wondering, the one about the young boy who thinks aliens are trying to abduct him and it turns out he has a twin brother living in his brain or some shit like that.

Number 2: Futurama


Good news everyone! I don’t know how to lead off of that, but I couldn’t, not say it. Yeah so Fry is an inept mother fucker from the year 2000 who gets cryogenicly frozen and wakes up in the year 3000. He ends up working for Prof. Farnsworth, his nephew, and the pervy old man to which the quote I started this paragraph off with, belongs. His co-workers are the no-bullshit, cycloptic, mutant ship captain Leela, the air-brained but cute Amy, the poorly treated but ever loyal Zoidberg, The foul-mouthed, alcoholic, kleptomaniac robot Bender, Jamaican and not very important due to low amounts of screen time Hermes, and Scruffy, the janitor. This show is hilarious. I don’t know what else to say about it. It’s just fucking hilarious. If you’re one of the few people who haven’t seen this yet, you should.

Bonus points if you can tell me what group of characters the Futrama cast was crossed with to create that image.

Number 1: How I met your mother


I could sit here and give you the premise of the show and babble on about why it’s really good and you should watch it, but Blue already did that when he did an entire post just on this show. In short, Barney, Marshall, Lily, Robin, and Ted has a series of adventures, misadventure, hookups, breakups, savage beatings, face slaps, and high fives as Ted tells his children the Legen  - wait for it – dary, story of how he met their mother, The very very very long-winded version of the story.

Those wishing to hear more about this particular show should consult http://colored-media.blogspot.com/2012/06/how-i-met-your-mother.html (Blues review.)

As a side note I would like to say #1 and #2, HIMYM and Futurama, are basically tied.
If you don’t like the list, I don’t care. It’s not the top ten greatest shows ever made ever list. It’s not your top ten tv shows list. It’s the top ten shows I thought up while writing this list.

Side side note, blue was supposed to be doing one of these as well, but basically never finished and is on a psuedo-hiatus from the blog so yeah I'm tired of waiting for him.

Fall Out Boy - Save Rock and Roll

                      

Fall Out Boy

Save Rock and Roll
Released: April 12, 2013

Label: Island Records

What's this? Green's doing an album review? I thought that was Blue's thing. Green, stop doing Blue's thing. Ay, shut up! You can't tell me what to do, I'm an adult.

So when this album came out it actually debuted at number one on the Billboard 200, so kudos to FOB on that one. Track listing is as follows:

                                       1. The Phoenix

 2. My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark (Light Em Up)

 3. Alone Together

 4. Where Did the Party Go

 5. Just One Yesterday (ft. Foxes)

 6. The Mighty Fall (ft. Big Sean)

 7. Miss Missing You

                                       8. Death Valley
                                      9. Young Volcanoes
                                10. Rat a Tat (ft. Courtney Love)
                              11. Save Rock and Roll (ft. Elton John)

So the first thing I want to mention is thanks to that second song there we know FOB has not given up its behavior if extremely long names for songs. I still really hope that at some point in the future FOB and Panic! at the Disco do a crossover song, simply because if that ever did happen the title would be at least as long as the song, if not longer.

The second thing worth mentioning here is the four features damn if too many more people had showed up I'd accuse this of being a rap album.

Well any album that starts with the phrase "Put on your war paint" probably has something to say, Let's take a look shall we.

So.... when I heard FOB was putting out a new album, I was very interested to hear it cause FOB, they're damn good at what they do. Then I looked it up on YouTube and found My Songs Know and I was liking it. Then I heard The Phoenix, and I was really liking it. Then I heard Alone Together, and for some reason, the first time I heard it, it didn't really find me in the right mood,but I listened to it again recently, and Alone Together is almost certainly my favorite song on this album.

Unfortunately after listening to the whole album, it's not as good as I hoped it would be. Don't get me wrong, it's not bad; I was just hoping for fucking incredible, and this isn't.

On the whole album there's only three songs I can say I really like, Those being the first three of the album (ie. The Phoenix, My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark (Light Em Up), and Alone Together)

The only song I can say I actively disliked was Rat a tat, and I feel like that's basically entirely due to Courtney, because as I listen to it again, the parts where she shuts the fuck up are largely fine.

I do want to say before I wrap this up that Patrick stump is a damn talented vocalist, that guy can really fucking belt it, and if for some reason you don't believe me listen to thnks fr th mmrs.

7.5 impressive falsetto lyrics out of 10

P.S. So, to anyone who saw the strange formatting when this was released, my apologies for that, oftentimes what I see when I'm writing it up is not even close to how it looks when it's actually posted. So if I forget to do a preview, and make the wild assumption that it'll look like it does for me, then shit like that happens.

YouTube Meoldy - Edition Three - September 2 2013

#1 Rap & Hip-Hop: Drake – Started From The Bottom

First off, I wanna mention that right in the middle of the song, there’s an entire minute of two fucking idiots that I guess are supposed to be Drake’s friends try to hit on this girl….. very badly. For no fucking reason, there’s a full minute of the video that’s some dumb bastard staring at a chicks breasts trying to talk her back to his place. Well, I guess it was better than the song. Alright fine I’ll talk about this “music.” So, you read the title of the song up there yes? Okay good that’s 80% of the lyrics. No I’m not kidding. Damn near every line in this song is “Started from the bottom now we’re here” Or “Started from the bottom now my whole team fuckin here.” Because it just wouldn’t be wrap if he didn’t say fuck way too much.

This is just really really awful. Don’t listen to it.

#2 Top Tracks: Eminem – Berzerk

I know a lot of people feel strongly about Eminem, some feel strongly that he’s a super talented guy that’s been through some shit in his life, but he’s genuine and he makes good music. And some other people feel like he’s the devil. I’ve never really liked most of his music, but I have always thought that he was talented. Eminem is one of the best people there is at talking. He is very good at being able to say precisely what he means, or being able to say a given thing in a multitude of ways. He’s openly admitted reading the dictionary before and it’s apparent when you listen to him that this guy knows his way around the English language.

So this particular song, well, I’m not in love with it. I don’t like the constant shifting between his normal voice and the higher pitched one. Then a bit later they toss in some deeper stuff too. I also found it was somewhat difficult to be able to understand what he was saying do to the speed at which he spoke and his accent and slanting of words.

It’s not terrible, but at the end of the day I still feel how I always have about Eminem, I respect his ability to say what he wants to say, I just rarely care about what it is he’s saying.

#3 Electronic: Foster The People – Pumped Up Kicks

By now you’ve probably heard this song even if you aren’t aware of the fact. This song was hugely popular when it came out, and to this day still has a fairly large contingent it should have to or else it wouldn’t be on the front page of music.

So my thoughts, it’s alright. I feel about this song the same way I don’t about a lot of rap songs actually, I only like the chorus. The chorus is done with a different style it’s slower than the verses and the verses all song like the singer is singing through an intercom which I find to be annoying where the chorus sounds like a live performance in a coffee house of something like that and it’s very pleasant even if it is about a school shooting…. Wait you didn’t know that? He’s telling the other kids to run from his gun and bullet what the hell else is this about?

#4 Country: Taylor Swift – Red

Before I talk about this actual song, I first want to point out that Taylor swift was the artist for 5 of the 9 listed country songs; that’s 56%. Just wanted to point that out.

Oh quick let’s play a game guess what this song is about! Yup, it’s about a boy, how did you know? Oh what’s that? That’s all Swift ever writes about ever? Well by gosh you’re right. Even the songs that aren’t entirely central to boys certainly take care to mention them, I’m starting to feel like Swift really needs to have a good hard fucking. I’m not trying to be rude about it here, I’m just thinking this woman has some real issues if all she can ever think about is boys, maybe if one of them could show her a good night she might finally be able to think about literally anything else.

The song, yeah it’s okay. Nothing really wrong with it but it stands out to me in absolutely no way what-so-ever.

At least Swift knows how to manage herself on stage though, not like our next performer.

#5 Top Track: Miley Cyrus – We Can’t Stop

Oh, this is gonna be fun. And not for the reason that you think it will be.

Alright so, if you weren’t aware, this song is fairly controversial right now. Most of the controversy relates to one particular line in the song and the exact wording used.  Originally there was some speculation about what it said and the song’s producer claimed the line was ‘Dancing with Miley.’ That would have been the end of it if Miley herself had not later come out and told us all that yes the line is indeed ‘Dancing with Miley’ …… sorta. “It depends on who’s doing what. If you’re aged ten it’s ‘Miley’, if you know what I’m talking about then you know. I just wanted it to be played on the radio and they’ve already had to edit it so much.” For those of you wondering, the actual lyric here for those aged eleven or older is ‘Dancing with Molly’ Molly being a slang term for MDMA or ecstasy. So yeah drugs are a thing is the song. What I don’t get is why everyone is flipping their shit about this line, but nobody cares about the coke reference that isn’t cutely covered up.  “And everyone in line in the bathroom, trying to get a line in the bathroom” If someone’s trying to get a line in the bathroom, it’s not a line of sharpie ink cause they’re gonna write on the stall, it’s a line of coke.

I want to point out another lyric that’s less controversial but always makes me smile. “Remember only God can judge ya, forget the haters cause somebody loves ya.” The second part of that line is a great message. Don’t concern yourself with haters cause they just wanna make you feel bad for no justifiable reason; focus on the people who care about you. Great message. The first part of that line….. hahaha. I’m not religious, but I know a few things about God, and he would judge your drug addicted harlot ass worthy of burning in hell for about the next eternity.

So the actual song itself? Well it just seems kind of off to me. The lyrics are all talking about how it’s their party, and you can’t stop their party, they’re gonna party if they want to, and there’s nothing you can do about it. But the tone of the music is all soft of chilled out and slow. The only way I could believe this song is the theme of a raging party is if it’s a raging party right after everyone took heroine;  which wouldn’t be surprising considering they’re already on ex and coke! For anyone who didn’t get the last joke, heroine is a depressant.
At the end of the day it’s not terrible, it’s just not really any good either.

One final point, as much as I’m loathe to ever complement a Disney star for anything ever, I do want to give kudos to Miley for one thing she said “I just think the world is so lame because you can shoot people in a movie and you can let someone like Zimmerman off on trial but you can’t have someone go like this [Miley makes a gesture to simulate oral sex], that is so dumb to me … The world is such a fucked up place the last thing people need to worry about is my cute little video for We Can’t Stop, you know what I mean?”

Well fuck, now I feel bad for making fun of her. By the way the story I pulled the quotes from is here if you're interested:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2371313/Miley-Cyrus-reveals-raunchy-video-We-Cant-Stop-MORE-explicit-opens-shedding-squeaky-clean-past.html?ito=feeds-newsxml