Fast and the Furious Review

No not the first Fast and the Furious, any Fast and the Furious.

Why yes I do realize I didn't post on Friday, to make it up to you I will be simultaneously reviewing five movies.

The Fast and the Furious (Released in 2001)

2 Fast 2 Furious (Released in 2003)

The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (Released in 2006)

Fast & Furious (Released in 2009) (Holy shit they used and ampersand instead of spelling out and)

Fast Five (Released in 2011) (I guess fury dies off after four movies, they were only mad in this one, but that doesn't allow for alliteration so they didn't put it in the title.)

And of these five movies, Everything I'm about to say will apply to them, and yes I have seen them all so I'm not just supposing that one isn't different.

And the planned Fast Six for 2013, well if it's any different I promise to eat the copy of The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift I own.

So anyway plot rundown,

What plot? There isn't a plot, okay there is a plot, but it doesn't matter. I promise you the plot doesn't matter. Go ahead, take anyone of these movies and watch the second half, then watch the first half. I promise you wont be confused. Wanna know why? There's really only three things that happen in these movies.

Thing 1: Hot chicks being on screen.

Thing 2: Nice cars going fast (Hey that's where they got half the title.)

Thing 3: People aggressively (You could almost say furiously) pointing guns and occasionally shooting at each other.

That's it. That's all that happens. Okay yes there are other scenes sure, but those are like the scenes in porn where everyone on screen is wearing clothes, sure they exist but that's not what you're watching it for they are only there to hold together the plot that's so thin you can see through it.

All of these movies of the same. They all consist of the same three scenes shuffled about and very very loosely tied together.

These are not the kind of movies you put on if you are wanting a riveting story. These are the movies you put on when it's been a long day or maybe you're drunk or high.

However, and this is very important, the people behind these movies know this. They know their movies aren't smart and the plot doesn't matter, so they don't try to be smart and they do what the can to make the bits that don't fall into one of the three aforementioned categories as short as possible. They know their audience they know what the movie is really about and they deliver.

Hot chicks, fast cars, guns, booze, Vin Diesel, you get these five things in all of them. They know what they're doing and they do it well. You have to be in the mood for these movies but when you are, they fucking deliver.

8 soooooooo not street legal cars, out of 10