Pineapple Express

Wednesday morning what's going on!

I have prepared a nice review of one of my favorite comedy movies for you. Read on if your interested.

Alright so on the chopping block today we have the 2009 release pineapple express.

For those of you who don't know what pineapple express is, good job :D. Pineapple express is a type of weed. At least it is in accordance to this movie.... and one old friend of mine. Personally I have never smoked either weed or cigarettes... or anything else for that matter.... weird ass druggies be smoking everything.

Anyway that tangent aside plot run down. As always spoiler free.

The plot concerns tow main characters Dale and Saul. Saul is a drug dealer. Dale is one of his patrons. Saul gets a shipment of a brand new weed that he claims to be "The dopest dope he's ever smoked" and Dale buy some from him. No points for guessing this particular weed was the aforementioned pineapple express. Dale works as a process server. He delivers legal documents to people who are attempting to avoid them. While attempting to deliver one such paper he witnesses a mob boss commit murder. He runs to Saul's house and the two must run from their chasing pursers until it ultimately leads to a crazy gun showdown in which many people die. That's about all I can say without giving anything away.

So is it any good? Well those of you with any amount of memory will recall at the beginning of this post I said it was one of my favorite comedy movies. Those of you who don't remember this, quit drinking ya bum.... or perhaps you should see a doctor. But yes I think it's a very good movie. Anytime I want a luagh I'll pop this in and let it play.

8 totally baked potheads out of 10

My own little scheduling post.

Okay so Dark shadows review went up Friday. Got another movie review coming up here in a few hours for Wednesday morning. That review is gonna be the 2009 comedy Pineapple express. And from here on out there should be a new movie review from me for you to enjoy every Friday and Wednesday. You see what I did there? I have my reviews come out on the same days movies do.

Will these always be new movies? Absolutely not. I'm not a professional movie critic I don't get to go watch these things for free and I'm not gonna pay something like $12 bucks twice a week. That being said, if there is a new movie coming out I want to see, Like I did with dark shadows, I will post that as the next review after I see it.

Some upcoming movies I want to see and will likely review? The new spider man, Abraham Lincoln: vampire hunter, The newest batman...... That's all that comes to mind right now. But yeah if I go see something in theaters I'll review it. Otherwise It'll be an older movie. But movies aren't like bananas they don't rot people. You can get older movies pretty damn easily.

Green out.

Smile Empty Soul - 3's

3's by Smile Empty Soul

Released May 22, 2012

Yeah, people have their own taste in music and that is all good and well that this make certain amounts of bias come into play during reviews, but that really won't explain why I'm about to say what I'm about to. This album isn't all that good. I like this kind of music, give me some Nickelback, Three Days Grace, Seether, Skillet, and really anyone else from this genre.... but not this album. On 3's, Smile Empty Soul goes for a different sound then they have had previously and normally I would say yes, broaden your sound and get more people to like you. This time around it doesn't really work as well as some might think. They pump the distortion and heavy guitar riffs but every song sounds the same. From start to about track six I hadn't really even noticed a change. There was nothing to distinguish one song from the next and that makes this album for a semi-dull listen. There is nothing special and really nothing that stands out for this album really at all.... It seems as though Smile Empty Soul wrote this album in order to fit in more with today's modern rock, and they are really just trying to mirror success of really other bands. Yeah, that is about it. Starts out fast and it never really slows down and just keeps on pumping and pumping more and more distortion and the same guitar heavy riffs. Towards the end of the album they actually slow the pace down a bit and it makes me think of their older stuff, which is, in my opinion, a much better fit for them. Sean Danielson is probably the bright side of this album as he is able to pull of the vocals quite nicely. I actually had to stop listening to this about halfway though because I could not listen to it straight through. Usually this doesn't pose a problem but I found myself myself wanting to listen to some real music. Well, here we go with the track list and the notable songs.

Track One - Carve

This song sets the tone for the album. It starts with a mini drum intro the song a guitar chimes in and here we go; fast pace rock with lots of distortion works for many bands, but again it's not really special.

Track Two - Ugly

Track Three - Warning

Track Four - Sleep Deprivation

Track Five - Hiding Place

Track Six - Let Go

This is around where I stopped.... I saved the rest for later....

Track Seven - Basement

Track Eight - Afterlife

Would have been better as an Avenged Sevenfold cover.... wait nevermind, don't do that, don't butcher their music.

Track Nine - Greatest Hits and Melodies

From here and the rest of the album they kinda go back to their roots and at the same time they kinda don't. For this one though they slow the tempo down and this is probably the one of two songs off of the album that will find it's way onto my iPod. Only 63 more gigabytes left to fill.

Track Ten - Hard Biter

Incubus sounding bridge. Overall a very nice track but definitely not their roots. The second of two songs that might make their way to my iPod.

Track Eleven - Wrecking Ball

Track Twelve - Not Alike

Blue gives this album 4 generic modern rock bands out of 10

Scheduling and Extra Credits.

First off, would just like to say again, I'm glad to be back and posting again. The hiatus was good for the soul but now I'm back and I'm serious. I will be posting two album reviews each week and they will be appearing at 8:00am every Monday and then Friday. I will do two albums that come out on the previous Tuesday hence the Born and Raised and coming Monday is 3's. The reason being for two is I love music so listening to two albums a week really isn't a big deal. As far as games go I'm not Yahtzee and reviewing them isn't my job so they might take me longer than a week and things like this can really occur whenever.


There's that. But speaking of Yahtzee and by extension the escapist...


This is news long overdo but still news that must be heard. The amazing mini series called Extra Credits has left the escapist. While this was very unfortunate because the escapist has many great shows and EC was one of them. I'm not going to get into a whole description about it but here's a link. http://nightmaremode.net/2011/08/extra-credits-leaves-the-escapist-9119/

Anyways, despite this being a bad fallout, that doesn't mean that EC isn't a great show. In fact I will still support it and say go watch it at pennyarcade and then head back over to escapist for som Big Piture and Zero Punctuation (or vice versa, doesn't matter). But basically what EC does is they break down a certain thing about things that are usually related to gaming and they do it brilliantly. The head artist, Alice is amazing and the guy who writes them, James Portnow, is a very intelligent man. Ironically, the only person whose name I  can't think of off the top of my head is the only one who talks. But yes, if you haven't already, go discover the awesomeness that is Extra Credits.

Dark Shadows Review

Alright then, Dark shadows another film in which Johnny Depp and Tim Burton work together, seriously are those two like conjoined at the hip? Probably not, but if so I give major props to Depp’s acting and the visual effects guys ability to photoshop Burton out of the shots. All joking aside though Burton probably has Depp on his speed dial and just calls him up every time he decides he wants to make a new movie to offer him the lead. The pair does good work though I’ll give them that.

So then Dark Shadows, for those of you not aware, is a movie based upon an old black and white drama, the movie is however very much so not a drama and lands quite a lot closer to comedy in fact.

Basic run down of the plot spoiler-free

Depp stars as Barnabus Collins a man who back in colonial times rejected the advances of a witch and in anger of his rejection she placed a curse upon his family and turned him into a vampire. She then had him locked in a coffin, sealed with chains, and buried for nearly 200 years. When he is finally released from his prison he quickly finds the surviving remnants of his family, having fallen out of power in the 1970’s and begins trying to restore his family’s good name. in short order it’s revealed the evil witch from two centuries ago had taken over the seafood business that Collins’ family used to control and derive their wealth from.

So then, is it any good? Yeah it’s alright. It’s not the greatest movie ever but it has its moments and overall it’s not too bad. Fans of the old show Dark Shadows should probably be aware that this movie takes very little from the show in the way of pointers. But I thought it was pretty decent and you could do a lot worse with your money and time.

  6.5 sex-obsessed centuries of vampires out of 10


Just Blue adding something here..... he doesn't fucking SPARKLE. In my book, this alone merits a 7. Seriously.

Gears of War 3 review

So yeah this is kinda late at this point but I’m gonna talk about gears three.

September 20^th 2011 was the day all gears head shall remember forever as it was the release date of Gears of war three, the final chapter of epic games’ proud child. At least of course until gears of war zero comes out as a prequel set during the pendulum wars. Note to epic games: PLEASE DON’T DO THIS. Please for once let the ending be the end prove your dominance over bungie and allow a series to be laid to rest at the proper time not beaten and squeezed for every last drop. Seriously people halo was over with halo three. ODST was bullshit about some gut in some city who wasn’t even a Spartan and passed out for like six fucking hours of the game just to be sure you knew that. Halo wars was actually a decent RTS game I enjoyed playing but it had not shit to do with the main series and reach was an obvious blatant cash in. And then tired of trying to make new halos to get your money they opted to just put out the first one again on the 360. And halo 4? Ugh no comment on that one. Halo was over with three and it should have stayed that way. Oh hey I was supposed to be talking about gears of war three wasn’t I? Right yes, anyway please epic let it just be over, it looked over let it stay that way.

Anyway that point aside onto the actual gameplay, controls are basically the exact same as the first two and every other cover based third person shooter with a few minor tweaks. I actually really like the mantle kick that was implemented, and the new online set up of; once you’re connected just loading more maps for matches is great. Find one match then just play till your done. This positivity out of the way I still feel like the shotguns, No kids that s wasn’t a type there are two of them now, are extremely finicky in their behavior sometimes deciding to just not do as much damage at others for no apparent reason. But I do feel like the assault rifles are actually useful for something other than the chainsaw now. So points on that, I find it a mistake when I have something and I just look at it like why the fuck does this even exist? Never once have I used it nor seen anyone else use it to any real effect. The assault rifle barrels and gun components no longer sit in this category of things and I do find the retro lancer to be quite a joy. So yes the gameplay is quite solid when the shotguns are being consistent and nobody is trying to glitch the game out. I guess the third time really is the charm on that.

Alright then story time,

*Spoiler warning*

This here is why this game isn’t going to get a ten. The story sucks and if you think it’s good you’re wrong. It really is bad. Seriously I mean yeah it ended now but how the hell did the end make any fuckin sense? Marcus’ dad pops out of the woodwork say Oh btw guys imulsion is actually a parasite but don’t fret I have this machine I built that will instantly kill all the imulsion off the entire planet and as a happy accident it also kills the locust which for some reason I don’t want to happen and am sad about. That’s not good story telling it’s just not. OMG PROBLEM. OMG SOLUTION eleven seconds later, makes me wonder why the problem even came up. All this being said I do still find some of the characters likable. Not Marcus and his supposed to be tragic loss of father. Not farmer Dom and his supposed to be heroic sacrifice, even though I really wanted to, I liked Dom in gears two people. Not Anya and…. Actually what did she really do in the game? Cole was funny with his seemingly childish glee in murdering locust still hanging about him though the bandana looks stupid. Baird and his witty jackass humor have always resonated with me especially his line at the end of act one about Sam. The newest carmine brother actually proved to not be a total wimp and a bitch and managed to survive a game despite epic trolling us all with that heli crash and the slow panning shot of his helmet lying discarded in the sand. Jace, kinda cool, cooler after having played Ramm’s shadow. Anyone else, meh must not have been important enough to remember.

*Spoiler over*

Overall it’s functional and pretty decent with a crap story. Good but not great.
7 chainsaw assisted surgeries out of 10.

Dark Souls Review

It is my firm belief every copy of dark souls should be sold with a collar for the player to wear whilst playing it cause this game will make you it’s bitch. Interested yet? Then read on.

Dark souls, for those of you who haven’t heard, is often remarked about, along with it spiritual predecessor demon’s souls, for being viciously difficult. This is quite true, though in all honesty not so much as is said once you learn the mechanics and equipment system. I don’t normally say this so blatantly but, if you own a PS3 and xbox360 or a PC capable of running it, since they are making a pc port, you should get this game. Dark souls is one of the best games I have every played in my life and it gives me a feeling of achievement I have gotten from no other game I can think of to this date. From the first time I managed to best capra (An early game boss that in my opinion is one of the four most challenging in the entire game) by myself all the way to beating the final boss Gwyn after several failed attempts I felt like such a badass each time I truly won and it continues to this day. Each bested invader and felled boss makes me grin cause it’s a fight every single time. Each time I walk into a boss fight, it’s with a degree of uncertainty, much less for some bosses than others, but even still walking into the tarus demon (The first real boss) I know I could die. In fact engaging an enemy you can die. Every enemy in dark souls can and will kill you given the chance. That’s not to say the entire game is maximum tension levels, the enemies have recognizable patterns and it does make it easy to avoid damage on most of the enemies if you do things properly, however that sense of ease is a double edged sword as if you get too complacent a small slip-up can be made and cost you your life. Another huge point in the game’s favor is the open world that is almost entirely devoid of loading screens. The game is entirely non-linear which is something that is becoming increasingly less common. Many game like to claim they are non-linear, dark souls actually is and I have often found a large degree of enjoyment out of seeing if I could tackle bosses that are meant to be later game enemies when I was clearly under-leveled and under-geared. It doesn’t always work out but it’s always a pleasure trying to best great grey wolf Sif after having just killed the bell gargoyles. For those of you not in the know, there are five plus areas and bosses of the game that one would face in between these bosses in a run of dark souls if you faced things in the ‘typical’ or what I assume was intended upon order. Ane that number goes up even more if you decided to do new londo ruins after tomb of the giants, crystal cave and lost izalith (The other three areas that become available when the player is ‘supposed to’ do that area of the game. Dark souls is hard without being unfair, once you get past the very very monstrous learning curve you can basically see your death coming each time before it does. I find it truly disappointing that games like dark souls that are unique, rewarding, and draw me to play it over and over again are under rated, but that whatever the newest call of duty is will undeniably have masses herald it as the coming of the fucking messiah and EA will say millions of copies by releasing madden (And every other sports franchise they do) again every single fucking year having simply shifted the players around and maybe touched of the graphics a tiny bit.

-Sighs.- Alright I’m pretty much through here. Dark souls is fan-fucking-tastic and I highly highly recommend it to you all. Definitely one of the best damn games I have ever played in my life and I honestly don’t see that title being taken from it any time soon. I shall continue to play it over and over with new and different builds.

Definitely one hundred percent 10 humanities wasted by being force miracled off a cliff by a cheap invader out of 10

John Mayer's Born and Raised

Born and Raised by John Mayer

Released May 22, 2012

The anticipation is over. Granuloma be damned, Born and Raised by John Mayer is finally out. Many people, myself included, wondered when this album would come out because of his throat condition but the official date was finally put out and now the album is here. I must say that it is not at all what I expected but it is, in my opinion much better than his Battle Studies album. When the first single came out, Shadow Days in this case, I was surprised but happy. See I will listen to essentially everything and all genres of music so it was great to hear something fairly new from Mayer. I thought that maybe it would sound more like Continuum and less like Battle Studies until this single came out. Either way, I was pleased to see it wasn't BS, yes, bullshit. This album really highlights his ability to write and perform in almost any genre. From his mainstream pop that is mildly digestible at times to his blues with the John Mayer Trio that I find amazing to this now. Even though I do like the diversity in Mayer's music, this album seems to have similar themes in every song. Most start with an acoustic guitar intro and at times the album gets.... weird. But on a second listen I realized that I liked most of the tracks that I didn't the first time through. And really, what's wrong with weird? I listen to old school Red Hot Chili Peppers and enjoy it, and trust me; there are few things weirder than old school Red Hot Chili Peppers. One thing to keep in mind with this is that Mayer writes great lyrics. It doesn't matter what they're really about (who cares if Shadow Days is an apology to Jennifer Aniston? Just listen and enjoy), they are decent. But just decent, as well as seeing that they weren't half bad I also saw that most of them weren't half bad, but just not half bad. Without further ado, the track list and the notable songs....(those will be the ones with writing under them)

Track One - Queen of California

This one is actually my favorite track off the album. It sets the pace for the rest of album and even though it shows the new style that Mayer is writing in it keeps his style of acoustic guitar: finger pick the hell out of it. This one is notable to me because it has been stuck in my head for days.

Track Two - The Age of Worry

Track Three - Shadow Days

This is the first song that was released as a single from this album. It is actually a very country-ish sounding song which appeals to my tastes but like I said before, I listen to a lot of different types of music. This kind of gave an indication of where Mayer was going with this album.

Track Four - Speak For Me

Track Five - Something Like Olivia 

This is really the first time that a notable electric guitar part is on the album. This makes the song a slight contrast to those before but maintains the country/folk feeling.

Track Six - Born and Raised

For me, this one took some warming up too. I thought that this one was not good at all the first time that I listened to it but around the fourth listen I found myself tapping along with the beat and singing. That's when I realized that it wasn't a half bad track.

Track Seven - If I Ever Get Around To Living

Track Eight - Love is a Verb

This seems more poppy than any other track on this album. Everything about the lyrics, vocal tones, and rhythm screams out pop but the instruments don't. Put in an electric guitar instead and kick up some of the drums a bit more and this could have been on Continuum. 

Track Nine - Walt Grace's Submarine Test, January 1967

Just look at the title. Look at it. 

Track Ten - Whiskey, Whiskey, Whiskey

Track Eleven - A Face to Call Home

Track Twelve - Born and Raised (Reprise) 

I originally liked this a hell of a lot more than the actual title track at first. The reprise is a much more uptempo and upbeat than the original and will be better for those who prefer faster music. By the way, for all of you unfamiliar with musical terms, a reprise is a repetition of a previous track with similar themes and sometimes different lyrics to progress a story that the songs are telling. I didn't check to see if that's exactly what Mayer is doing here, but I bet it is.

Track Thirteen - Fool to Love You (iTunes Bonus Track)

Easily the second best track on the album. It is an iTunes bonus track but it is definitely worth the $1.16 or whatever it is to buy it. This track follows the themes and styles that the rest of this album does but it does it better.


Blue Says 7 Acoustic Guitars Out of 10

Update on Final Fantasy XIII-2

So yeah. A while back I completely trashed talked Final Fantasy XIII and recently, I promised you would be getting a review of Final Fantasy XIII-2… I think I kind of lied. I do have the game…. And I have played some of it, but not anywhere close to a lot of it. I will try and finish it here soon but I can’t promise anything and I kind of have some good news as to why….. I am actually enjoying this one. Yeah, it still has the same shitty ass combat from XIII and it’s close to the fucking worst game of alls combat, X-2, but it is not that bad. Of course it’s just pressing one button but there are other aspects that they have fixed that make the game bearable.

1.      They kept the superb graphics. Does this make up for everything? No, but it does make the list of things that they kept that are good.

2.      They got rid of the one fucking corridor gameplay THANK THE LORD!!! They have towns and people and side missions and things to DO other than the damn mission. This makes me happy on the inside! 

3. Also, in the spirit of good things that have been changed for the better, a save whenever feature!!!!

4.      They made the storyline somewhat epic. The other was congested and semi hard to follow…. But this one is nowhere near as bad and makes it fun to play and continue on to see what’s going on.

5.      They kept Hope. I hated him until the end of XIII and then came to respect him as a character. Except for his haircut. I still have contempt for that hair cut and everything it represents.

6.      The soundtrack is amazing as always. Good aesthetics make stuff worthwhile sometimes.

Yeah, the list is not that big.... but they are still marked improvements and the linearity is a BIG deal. So yeah, much to my disappointment, I’m sorry I lied to you. I will not actually be posting a review of that in recent days but at some point over the next month…... maybe. I’ve taken to not finishing games and it really is a bad habit. I haven’t even finished Gears 3 yet and it is AMAZING or Skyrim which has become one of my favorite 360 games ever but do you really ever finish Skyrim? Just too caught up with all the side quests….. I could do SoulCaliber 5…. Well I guess we’ll see here in a bit.

I'm sure you already know, but I'm Blue here giving you my thoughts, feelings, and opinions. Eh whatever read if you want, don't if you don't want to.

P.S. Ignore the terrible formatting that went on here.... Don't know quite what happened.

I live!

I’M NOT DEAD! I would like to apologize for having been away so long and I have one small tip to offer you: No matter what Morpheus says to you, take the blue pill! Go home and convince yourself it was all some convoluted dream. I don’t know care how curious you are I promise you it is not worth it my friends. Take the blue pill. I took the red pill and ended up trapped in that damned rabbit hole for nearly a year unable to escape till I finally ended up breaking the system in an extremely complicated manner involving a can-opener, a pipe organ, and a slightly used sex doll…. Just don’t ask.

But, all that aside now, I am back and I have many things coming on the horizon for you to enjoy. Reviews of Binding of Isaac, Dark souls, Resident Evil 5, Saints Row: the third, Gears of war three, Skyrim, and a great many more things as I continue to consume more and more media and regurgitate my thoughts here upon this blog.

Main point, I’m alive and will be making more content again. Do not take the red pill.

Been Gone A While..... Almost a Year......

Hello there! Well if you don't remember, even I barely do, I'm Blue. It has been a very, very, very long time since ANYTHING has been posted. As the title says, it has been a year and wow, that year has kinda flown by. At least for me anyways. So guess what, I'm back and ready to write more! My friend Green will most likely be back as well but I don't know if he's gonna jump in and say hi or just go right back into it. Things to look forward to, FFXIII-2, Gears of War 3, Limbo, The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, The Avengers (and all the films leading up to it), Dark Shadows, The Office, How I Met Your Mother, and well, anything else I might think of..... oh yeah, The Harry Dresden Novels. With a list like that, you can tell it's been a busy year for me media wise..... How long will all this take me? No idea but it will all be on it's way. Blue, out.