Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Upcoming Games 2011, Pt I

Lord of the Rings: The War of the North
Platform: X360/PS3/PC
Release Date: Aug. 24, 2011
Developer: Snowblind Studios


Blue’s Take:


Being a fan of the entire Lord of the Rings Saga, I have to say this looks fucking awesome. And for those of you out there who are fellow fans of this saga, I say be ready for this game. It looks like an innovative twist on the Lord of the Rings. Instead of putting another game out that follows some section of this story that has been told quite a bit, the developers of this game added a new sub-plot without changing the main plot. Honestly, I played the three games based on the movie with a bit of reluctance. They mostly followed the story of Frodo, and for games based on the movies/books, they rightfully should have. However, this game seems to let you take control of the other characters and play in the world of Middle-Earth with something new. So seriously, if you haven’t seen the trailer yet, CLICK HERE, then come back for more games. *waits a minute and 39 seconds, give or take ads*..... Looks good, huh?




Dead Island
Platform: X360/PS3/PC
Release Date: Sept. 6, 2011  
Developer: Techland

Green’s Take:


So here’s my understanding of just exactly how this game came to be. One day, after hearing that DR2:OTR (if you don’t know scroll up or google it) was coming out DR2 had gotten of the pedestal of zombie skulls its fans had built for it and was heading off to home. Well just as DR2 when to pass Murder Ave. L4D2 jumped out and began tearing at DR2’s pants. You see L4D2 knew that its series was agreeably finished with it but it was determined to pass on something. So it tore DR2s pants off and set about a very brutal rape. It’s my understanding that in an effort to try and forget about the rape DR2 gave the child up for adoption and got drunk. Anyway the kid got adopted by Techland, who had big plans to make it into a western but they were already working on another Call of Jaurez (I don’t know what this ones called and I'm not gonna discuss it). So Techland said well we do westerns and this baby has a particular air of zombies about it so lets make a zombie western! It was at this point Bob jumped up claiming that couldn't be done Rockstar Already did that with Red Dead Redemption's undead nightmare pack. Normally they would have tried to reason that just because one company does something doesn't mean others cant but the boss just didn’t feel like trying that day. So they decided to just go on the zombie thing. Thus Dead Island was born.

Seriously though L4D + DR = DI
Do you really need a better reason to buy it?




Gears of War 3
Platform: X360
Release Date: Sept. 20, 2011
Developer: Epic Games

Blue’s Take:
Well, here is what will hopefully be a win for EPIC games. It has the possibility to be a multi-win for them. Let me break this down for you, one: They can make this game great, just like the last two. And from my experiences with the Beta Multiplayer, it will be great. All that’s left, is to make an epic campaign like they have with the last two games. And the second win: A chance to show that a company can gracefully end a series. Seriously, with SEGA bringing out another Sonic this year; Ubisoft with at least two more Ass Creeds that are coming out; another damn Resident Evil; and lets not forget the EA strategy of coming out with every sports game every year with the roster being the only change; and Halo 4 (Seriously, WTF!? just call it Halo 6 like it really is). This is finally a chance for a studio to say: “Hey, look at us, we can end this series with grace.” Or if they really want to rub it in, “We’re so bad ass we don’t need a cash cow! Suck it!” So yes, it may be a slim chance, but a chance nonetheless for a studio to end a series with grace... I forgot Mario didn’t I? WELL THAT ONE FUCKING TOO, NO MORE, NO MORE, NO FUCKING MORE!!!!!.... OR ZELDA!!!!!!! Whew, okay... oops... I might have blacked out a bit there o.O..... Anyways, like I said, multiplayer seemed great if they don’t fuck with it, and the campaigns for the previous two have been good, but that could change. Lets hope not. And also don’t forget, this is Epic’s last chance to bow out gracefully.

(And I promise, I will rip on Nintendo some other time at length, but not here




The Darkness II
Platform: X360/PS3
Release Date: Oct. 4, 2011
Developer: Digital Extremes

Green’s Take:

So The Darkness was released in 2007 and coincidentally was something like the 3rd game I had for my box. the first two being Halo 3 and Def Jam: Icon...... Yeah Def Jam: Icon..... I honestly would have felt less ripped off if i had spent that $60 hiring someone to beat my dog to death with a crowbar.... a crowbar I supplied... and he got to keep the crowbar. Yeah DJ:I was the worst game I’ve ever played in my life. STAY ON TRACK DAMN IT! I’m sorry about that. Look i may go into detail some day on just how terrible that game really is but suffice it to say if you ever wanna kill yourself just buy that game and the nearest country album. You wont last two minuets. In fact scratch the country album some drunk - DAMN IT! The darkness The darkness The darkness. Okay Yeah I promise to butcher DJ:I soon but that’s not why were here. Anyway TD1 was fuckin great. The game play has some cool shit such as the darkness arm giant fuckin tentacles you could use to impael people and then throw them at their buddies. A little black snake you could send on secret ninja missions and of course at the end the power to summon a fuckin black hole! No shit! The last power unlocked in the game allows you to summon a fuckin black hole! The powers were great albeit they were way more than the other guys could ever dream of handling. I practically walked through the hole game gold-like; blasting bitches with the infinite ammo darkness guns. Hell, I was more afraid of lamps, by the end, than guys with guns. Anyway the darkness gameplay was pretty easy, perhaps higher difficulty setting changed this I wouldn’t know didn’t try them. I don’t know what TD2 is about but if the story is just as good the game will be too. Last comment please please please tell me Mike Patton is still doing the voice of the Darkness. He did a fuckin fantastic job at it in the first game. Hell I nearly shit myself when I walked into that cemetery bathroom and the unexpected “JACKKIE!” came out of nowhere. Seriously that guy deserves a medal... and his throat deserves its own medal as well.

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