Spelunky

So I wanna talk about a game I got recently  from the xbox live arcade and anybody who read the title knows what it is. Ya know what, I think I'm gonna start fuckin lying in the title so that there will actually be some level of interest about hmm I wonder what this post is about.

Anyway Spelunky I got it for 1200 microsoft points, for those of you that don't know the conversion rate that's $15. Originally I felt like maybe the game was a little over priced at that point but I had the points sitting around on my account so I said why not and I now realize that I will probably be sinking a lot of time into this game.

There is essentially no story line at all aside from you being some money hungry fuck who is willing to murder, pillage, desecrate graves, abuse slave labor, perform human sacrifice, and just generally do anything for a buck (So not kidding about any of the things in this sentence). So the game is entirely dependent on gameplay but it in no way falls flat because of that. The game is a platformer and the overall goal is to proceed from the spawn point down to the end of each level until you win. However, the game does fucking everything it can to prevent you from having any chance of doing that. Anything and everything is out to kill you in the worst ways the bright and colorful sprites and set design will allow. Let me provide a small list of the ways I've managed to die thus far: Spider bite, snake bite, falling onto spikes, getting shot by arrow traps, getting shot by angry shop keepers, getting swarmed by a vampire and his bat army, impaled by tiki trap, good old falling damage, eaten by piranha plants, eaten by piranhas, and perhaps best of all murdered by an individual I can only assume is meant to be Abraham Lincoln after I had smashed a coffin to save his ass inside a spooky castle. And all of that has happened in only the first two areas of the game and a the three secret levels I've found thus far; One of those secret levels being the interior of a large worm. This game is brutal as shit. All you really have to defend yourself is a few meager starting supplies and a whip that has range so short the enemy has to be close enough you could taste them and that whip will actually just stun pretty much anything other than the weakest enemies. So if you want to survive at all you have to think about what the fuck you're doing and be very good at working with whatever random map layout the game gives you. Oh yeah by the way, every time you click play the game generates a new world so it's never the same game twice. And there's no carrying over all the cool gear you found last time. You start as the same weak, helpless mother fucker every single time and have to try not to die as the entire world attempts to murder you repeatedly.

It's hard as hell. It's fast paced. It's pleasing to look at. It controls extremely well. It's just god damn fun.

If you have an xbox and you have the points and you're the type that appreciates a game punching you in the face and telling you that you fucked up, which anyone who read my dark souls review knows I'm a fan of, The I recommend you get the trial give it a whirl and if it seems up your alley, buy the game. I'm enjoying the hell out of it myself and I'm certainly going to keep playing it despite the game repeatedly punishing me for doing so.

8 damsels sacrificed to Kali out of 10

Overexposed by Maroon 5

Overexposed by Maroon 5

Released June 26, 2012

Label: A&M/Octone 

Honestly, before I watched NBC's The Voice I really didn't listen to M5. Then I watched and saw that Adam Levine was a cool dude and decided hell, let's check out his band. Like I've said many times before, I listen to all kinds of music and I ended up really liking them. Sure, some songs just didn't click for me but when I saw there was a new album by them coming out I went for it. This album is one of the best that I've reviewed since I've started these reviews. Maroon 5 successfully mixes pop, rock, and reggae sounds to make a really good album. It delivers and anyone who like music can find something that they like here, even people who listen to solely rap. This of course is due to an amazing guest spot by Wiz Khalifa, but it still wil make Payphone worth listening to by them. Well then, on with the review seeing as I have quite a few songs to talk about on this one. 

Notable Tracks:

Track One - One More Night

That's right, right off the bat Maroon 5 brings out the kickass of this album. This song has been considered good for a while because it was the second single off the album, but it was still really damn good.

Track Two - Payphone feat. Wiz Khalifa

This one was really good the first time I heard it, then it got amazing. The pop is great but then when it adds the rap elements on the second it makes it even better and that makes this song diverse.

Track Four - Lucky Strike

This one is a classic pop song. The rhythms are catchy and its really hard not to sing along after the second listen. Really, it's catchy. Go listen.

Track Five - The Man Who Never Lied

This is a good song lyrically and quite the contrast to Payphone. Not really musically, but lyrically it is a complete contrast. Levine also kills it vocally on this track.

Track Ten - Tickets

Different from the rest of the album but that is what makes it work for me. This one is really kind of dancy more so than pop-ish. "Shes got tickets to her own show, but no one wants to go." It's just different and really really good. 

Track Fifteen - Kiss (Cover) [Bonus Track]

This cover is really good and different from what the last popular version put out was. Idk if this alone warrants the Bonus Edition. Just download this one from iTunes if at all possible. 

7 pop bands with frontmen on a t.v show out of 10

Friday's update will not be an album, but a review of a certain website run by a certain celebrity.... well you'll see. I'm Blue and this was a review of Overexposed.

More phone games!

So last week Blue talked about a few different phone games he likes. I wanna talk about a few other ones I thing deserve mention. Fair warning I have a Droid phone and I have no idea is this shit is available for iPhones or not. So if not, well it's really your fault for having an iPhone, those things suck!

1. Draw Something.

This game is pretty cool. If you don't know; it pictionary. That's all it is. You're given a word, you draw something to try and get your buddy to guess what word you're given. And that's it. It's really good for a phone game cause you can watch your buddy guess your drawing, guess their drawing, then send them a new drawing all in about two to three minutes tops. It's quick it's easy to learn and it can provide some laughs when you look at the stupid shit your friends draw. Only arguable negative I see here is I think you need to have and be signed into a facebook account to play; but seriously who has a smartphone and not a facebook?

2. Air Penguin

I wanted to make special mention of this game cause I find really god damn fun but I have never heard anything about it leading me to believe it to be some sort of hidden gem. It's from the same guys as cartoons wars and they deliver here as well. You play a penguin and the game relies on the gyroscope in your phone (tilt controls). So you move your phone to cause a penguin to flip from hunks of ice moving forward to the completion of the level. Again super simple controls and frequent stopping points make this and ideal phone game.

3.Angry Birds
So I'm not one of those crazy fans who is all psychotic and screaming "OH MY FUCKING GAWD!!! ANGRY BIRDS GREATEST FUCKING THING EVARRRRR!!!!!!" I never bought any angry birds shit, hell I didn't even pay for the games, I got the free versions myself.  But that being said I like it. Simple, easy-to-use mechanics, short quick levels that are ideal for a phone game that you can play for two minutes while waiting for some shit and it still manages to be surprisingly difficult. Many levels actually require thought about which birds need to be used at what angels in what spots. I've played all fours games myself, those being; Angry Birds, Angry Birds: Seasons, Angry Birds: Rio, and Angry Birds Space. Of them all space is mechanically the best since they do introduce the concept of playing with gravity to cause otherwise impossible arcs in trajectory. But I would say my personal favorite might be seasons cause of the massive variance in content. Each piece of seasons has it's own ascetics complete with different breakable objects and festive attire for the pigs. One interesting fact, Angry Birds has had a total of over a billion downloads. To put that in some context, that equates to roughly 1 in 7 people on the entire fucking planet.

"Box Office" Issue One

Welcome to "Box Office". This is a new series by me, Blue, that will be posted up bimonthly (1st and 15th) except for this time, the jump off point. Basically in this I will talk about the highest grossing movies through that weekend and for throughout the year and what this implicates for future sales and things. At least what I think it will be in my opinion. The format will be the same every time so let's just get this started.

Top Ten Last Weekend                                 Weekend Gross (July 20-22)                           

1. The Dark Knight Rises                                      $160, 887, 295  

2. Ice Age: Continental Drift                                    $20, 416, 978 

3. The Amazing Spider-Man                                    $10, 887, 111

4. Ted                                                        $10, 011, 610 

5. Brave                                                    $6, 024, 987

6. Magic Mike                                                $4, 291, 432

7. Savages                                                  $3, 398, 880

8. Tyler Perry's Madea's Witness Protection                     $2, 253, 074

    Program

9. Moonrise Kingdom                                            $1, 831, 471

10. To Rome with Love                                        $1, 420, 891

Top Ten So Far in 2012 (July 25)                       Gross Throughout 2012         

1. Marvel's The Avengers                                      $615, 280, 156

2. The Hunger Games                                         $405, 295, 437

3. The Amazing Spider-Man                                   $232, 198, 265

4. Dr. Seuss' The Lorax                                      $213, 198, 265

5. Brave                                                  $210, 985, 777

6. Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted                        $208, 147,843

7.  The Dark Knight Rises                                   $198, 038, 896

8. Ted                                                      $183, 549, 005

9. MIB 3                                                    $175, 476 727

10. Snow White and the Huntsman                               $152, 732, 465

So far this is just a report of the box office sales of last weekend and this year. Alone this is quite informative, especially the yearly one. This is one of the biggest movie years in a very long time. The first two top grossing movies made double every other top two movies since 2004. Those two movies were Shrek 2 and Passions of the Christ. They made a collective $700, 000, 000. With the movie that sold the third most, Spider-Man 2, included, they make what the top two did this year. That's ridiculous. By the time this is actually posted The Dark Knight Rises will almost definitely end up in the top 5 this year, and that will be only two weeks. The thing that I find most intriguing about this is Warner Brothers Studios had previously said they were not going to release the box office scores out of respect for the victims of the Colorado shooting, yet here they are. Still, at number seven after only a week in a half is no easy feat, especially when there are people that refuse to go to it because of the shooting (I know some of them, so no, I'm not kidding). That brings the question: How many stayed away? If only two thirds of the people went Rises might have easily cracked the top three in the first weekend. Just something to think about. Along with this, is the The Amazing Spider-Man being at number three. It also has some life left seeing as it is still showing in over 3,000 theaters nationwide (this is for the United States). More next Tuesday.


P.S. The formatting is not ideal, I know. It is a work in progress and this is the first one. 

PAYDAY: The Heist

So I'm sure you read Blue's review of Dark Knight Rises first and probably don't give two shits about any other movie so I'm not gonna talk about a movie today. That's right I'm not doing a movie. You wanna bitch about it? Fucking go ahead.

So you read the name of this post lot of you are probably like wtf is this Payday shit Green? I ain't never heard of it. Why is it I always assume you get instantly pissed off if I mention something you may not have heard of? I'm not really sure either.

So PAYDAY: The Heist is a first person shooter. I know right now a lot of you just shit yourselves at that level of innovation. WHAT!??! You mean I get to like, look through the eyes of a guy with a gun and shoot people??? GREATEST FUCKING GAME EVAR!!!! Ya see what I did there? I joked that there wasn't ten trillion fps games released like every fucking year. Ever since fucking Doom game company execs have be shouting about money their competitors made with fps games and how they want the money to buy another car. And now we have call of duty released every fucking year, I think two of them this year in fact. Halo isn't allowed to die. Medal of honor will doubtlessly be shitting out another game soon enough. And there's battlefield and ya know like, every game at E3. Anyway back to wtf I was actually talking about.

PAYDAY: The Heist fps. The simplest way I can explain it is to say it's basically what you would get if Left for dead and call of duty had a baby in which the principle objective was to rob bitches and shoot cops. It takes four player co-op and attempts to emphasize helping out your fellow guys. You play four criminals; Dallas, the pseudo-leader, Hoxton, suave English mother fucker and my personal favorite, Wolf, Bald no-bullshit badass, And Chains, the black guy who had to be there so nobody calls them racist.

The game can be purchased through Steam for $20 (Though I got it on sale for $5. Thank you summer sale.). Currently it has six missions available, or seven if you have Left for dead 2 through Steam casue that will get you the mercy hosptial based level and a set of zombie masks to match.

So is it good? Yeah I like it, I sure as hell got my $5 out of it and I'm probably gonna get the upcoming dlc that will add new guns gear and levels that they announced. But is it worth $20? I would say if you have at least one buddy who either already has it or would be willing to get it and play with you then yeah. It is very co-op based so you're gonna have more fun doing this with you buddies than with the AI or randoms online.

And to those of you who like computer games and said "wtf is Steam?" I don't have words. Figure it the fuck out cause Steam is amazing.

8.5 perfectly executed robberies out of 10

The Dark Knight Rises Review

First off, I would like to say that I am sorry for all the victims and their families of the Aurora, Colorado shooting. This was a tragedy and something should never had happened. I would like to link you this, http://www.facebook.com/thedarkknightrises. 

The most recent post (at this time) is a statement from the director, writer, and producer of the Batman movies Christopher Nolan. I do not think that I could say it any better than he does here. I do not think that this movie had anything to do with the shooting and do not let one man's actions, tarnish this movie for everyone. 

Once again, My condolences. 

On with the review. 

This film is the conclusion of director Christopher Nolan and every member of the cast and crews hard work. Upon re-watching Batman Begins and The Dark Knight before watching this in the theater I thought there was absolutely no way that Nolan could make it better than them. I was mistaken. The Dark Knight Rises is an amazing film that concludes a trilogy which competes with the likes of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. The characters that are present are all amazing, most of which have been present throughout the whole ordeal. Christian Bale is the best Batman I've seen in a film. Gary Oldman is an amazing actor who I'm convinced could pull off any role (looking forward to Lawless with him and Tom Hardy). Michael Cain is the perfect Alfred and steals every scene he is in. Morgan Freeman. Enough said. Then there are the newbies on set, even though each of them are great actors in their own right, just new to this set. Anne Hathaway is a better Catwoman than Halle Berry could ever dream of being, Tom Hardy's Bane didn't involve a lot of acting but his character was written amazingly. Not only that, but he does actually act, all with his eyes. Joseph Gordon-Levitt has yet to be in a movie I don't like so I was glad he had a much, much bigger role than I expected. Check out The Lookout if you like his work but have only known about him since Inception or 50/50. Then there's Marion Cotillard who is really good for this role. My one issue with this movie, is it seems to be more about the supporting cast than it is Batman himself. Bruce Wayne is probably in the film more than Batman is and that really wasn't quite a problem as much as a surprise. I think that it is going to be generalized more as a Batman movie over a great piece of cinematography that Nolan obviously sets out to make it and that bothers me at both ends. As a fan of Batman, I want my Batman movies to actually have Batman in them. On the other hand, I love films. So when you look at this movie as a standalone piece it is brilliant. As part of something larger, its not as great. Still good, but not great.
Also, there will be a rather large spoiler section at the end. It will be pointed out.  

One thing that is glaringly obviously when you think of these movies is when you look at these as a series, is the absence of the Joker in this one. Was he killed? Is he in prison? If he's in prison how come he hasn;t tried to escape yet? It isn't explained, it isn't mentioned, and it's fairly annoying; once you start analyzing the film for a review after the initial viewing you start to realize things such as that. It's really a painful glaring hole in the story-telling when this is thought of. Still, Tom Hardy did good with the limited amount of space he had to work with as Bane but it's hard to forget Heath Ledger's joker. And I realize I haven't even got to the plot yet but I wanted to get this out of the way first. So yeah in short, little Batman as seems possible, but it works for the story, great actors and supporting characters are the center piece of the film. On with the plot, spoiler free.

Plot

The final installment of Nolan's Dark Knight it's been eight years since the last installment. Harvey Dent's legacy still lives even though no one in Gotham really know the truth about what happened. However, because of the falsified nature of his death they passed legislation that helped the cities police crack down on crime in Gotham. They locked away many criminals and the streets of Gotham are cleaner than ever before. The only cost has been heavy emotional weight on Bruce Wayne/Batman and Police Commissioner Gordon's shoulders because they are the only two that know's the truth. Batman is officially in hiding and Bruce Wayne is on a bum leg. Wayne and Gordon both seem ready to accept their sad existences until Bane threatens the city of Gotham. At this point Wayne dusts of the suit gets ready to kick some ass. 




That is really just the basis of this plot. With Hathaway, Gordon-Levitt, and Cotillard also each a big part of this movie (especially Gordon-Levitt, not a spoiler. Just saying you see a lot of him in this movie) there are many sub-plots and moving pieces to what really is an absolute masterpiece of a film. My recommendation is go see it. Definitely go see it. It may not be the best end to a series, but it most definitely is a great film all on its own. In fact, the ending is the only thing keeping it from a perfect ten even though the ending was awesome in it's own right. If you've seen it you know what I mean. If you've seen it and don't know what I mean, you're a brain-damaged mule in the desert. Read the spoiler section and I will guide you home (like The Change-Up reference?). 


Tomorrow there will be a new series starting about box office sales. Not just an update, but a look at highest grossing that current week and throughout the year and other things. I'm using tomorrow as a jump off point for it but it will actually be released on the 1st and 15th of every month. 


9.5 bat caves out of 10


*Spoiler Section*
So if you've seen the movie you should read this section, if you haven't I really don't recommend reading this section. So proceed if you dare. 




The only thing I really want to talk about here is the end. It was really good, and yet really unexpected. Many things about it remain unexplained (e.g. how did Wayne end up in that cafe with Selena Kyle?) but one thing remains certain. This studio probably isn't done with Batman. Christian Bale and Christopher Nolan are more than likely done, but Warner Brothers and DC Comics aren't. The man that seems to be slated to be the next Batman, or possible Nightwing, is none other than Joseph Gordon-Levitt. It is apparent throughout the movie is an integral character and he does it well. He is on screen almost more than really anyone else but it isn't quite revealed until the end what his bigger importance is. It is shown that his NAME is Robin at the end but that he ISN'T Robin. People seem to be getting this wrong, he is NOT Robin, it's just his NAME. Anyways, he gets something from Bruce Wayne in his will (yes, Wayne/Batman "dies" in the film for those of you who are here spoiling it for yourselves. SHAME ON YOU by the way) and it turns out to be some directions to a variation of the Batman cave. This caught my attention more-so than the other emotional bits with Alfred in them. It appears that in the same movie, DC Comics has given you the ending to one series and the leading character plus his backstory for another possible series. The only question here, is what will be Joseph Gordon-Levitt's future part? Will he be Nightwing or Batman? Will they even do one? If they don't they really just added this in for no reason and it makes little sense. Going through Blake's back story throughout the movie is useless space if they weren't setting him up for more things. They did set up John Blake in such a way that I could see him training and devoting himself to be Batman, especially with the scene with the badge/bridge and where he is held up at gun point. My point is, the ending was good. In the matter of setting up a possibility for this, it was amazing. It just didn't really give enough closure to Nolan's universe which it was supposed to do. Everyone really expected it to, but it didn't. Yes, Wayne ending up with Selena was a nice touch but was it what people expected? No. Bruce Wayne never STOPS being Batman. Never. 


Another theory I have.........


Well now.... Here's what I think. They are putting out a new Superman right? Well if they "reboot" Batman with Joseph Gordon-Levitt and then maybe do a Wonder Woman, maybe a new Green Lantern (or keep Ryan Reynolds), a Green Martian would be totally badass, and then look at what we have here..... 


The Justice League


Of course, the problem here is that there are many more Justice League members than there are of the Avengers. I say do the key ones, this new Batman with JGL, the new Superman, Wonder Woman, and maybe a Flash or Green Martian. Just through in the other characters during that film and it will work. It's all jut speculation though as we all just have to wait and see. 

A Trio of Great Phone Games

Today's review will be of three different phone games. I thoroughly enjoy all three of these games and they can all be found in the app store. The three games that I will be reviewing for the Android phone, or tablet, are Cartoon Wars, Temple Run, and Medieval Castle Defense. 

The first of these games will be my favorite, Cartoon Wars. 

The photo above is of an outdated version so it looks a bit different but it really is quite amazing. The point of the game is to free the black and white characters (you) from oppression. They are being oppressed by the Color tribe and you must use your units to destroy their castle. A flawed storyline? Maybe but you don't play phone games for the storyline. You play them because they are FUN, which is exactly what this is. After a while though the game does get a bit repetitive but once you stop for a while and decide to go back it seems fresh. There are many different units and the 14 upgrades for each of them. Add in the fact that you can upgrade to tower, gold production, and unit cool down, it makes for lots of fun that is impossible to put down for a while. Think of it as a tower defense game, but a different kind of monster than the rest of them.

9 wizards on clouds out of 10 

The next one on the docket is Temple Run. 

This one is a very fun and interactive game for the phone. Upon it's release, it was only iPhone for a while and was released on the Play Store not too long ago. What makes this game fun is the fact that you, the player, is almost always having to do something. Whether you are leaning to get coins, jumping over gaps or fire, ducking under trees, or leaning to avoid half broken areas of tower floor. This game has many upgrades as well and keeps you entertained.

7 monkey-looking-creatures out of 10

Last but not least, is Medieval Castle Defense. 

This game is really nothing different from other classic castle defense games (definitely different from Cartoon Wars) but I did pick it for a few reasons. For one, it is free and that's always a big bonus. For two, I really like the presentation of it. And three, I'm sick of Angry Birds always being the one everyone always reviews.

5 cannons out of 10

Some Upcoming Movies

Today I think that I am going to talk about some movies that are coming to a theater near you soon! There are more than a couple and they are being posted in the order of release date. Note: These aren't all movies, just the ones that I personally think look good enough to go see. I will be going all the way through September so there might be quite a few...... Alright, lets do this. 

The Watch (July 27, 2012)

Starring: Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, and Jonah Hill

In this movie Ben Stiller decides to start a neighborhood watch thinking that it would help the community. The funny part? They actually discover something. The thing in question is an alien invasion. How is Jonah Hill landing all these parts with big actors? 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFXoKCwUWZJY

 2 Days In New York  (August 10, 2012)

Starring: Chris Rock and Julie Delpy

The thing that catches my attention about this movie is what Chris Rock has to say about his part. He says that this is the first time that someone has hired him to do something other than comedy. Chris Rock not in a comedy? Let's see it. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3kx1UK7ACmw

The Bourne Legacy (August 10, 2012)

Starring: Jeremy Renner, Edward Norton, and Rachel Weisz

This just looks really good and I'm not even one for milking a franchise. Jeremy Renner is quickly becoming a big action star. Interested to see what he does in this. Also, Rachel Weisz is back! Been forever since shes been in anything.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJTGB4qk23U

The Campaign (August 10, 2012) 

Starring: Will Ferrell, Zack Gilifianakis, and Jason Sudeikis

This looks like the funniest movie of the summer, minus Ted. With these two its bound to be stupid funny but those kind of movies aren't too bad are they? I'm looking forward to this one... And what is up with August 10?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7yC0iiK7a4

Premium Rush (August 24, 2012)

Starring: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Michael Shannon, and Diana Ramirez

It looks really decent and a concept that is seen quite a bit. However, it's not often that you see it done with bikes. In fact, I've never seen something like this before. An original concept with a strong lead actor should make for a good movie. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pn6ie1zCkZU

Lawless (August 29, 2012)

Starring: Tom Hardy, Shia LaBeouf, Gary Oldman, and Guy Pearce

First off, I already love this cast. Every actor is damn good at what they do, act. Tom Hardy's recent performance in TDKR was stellar and i hope he delivers here again. LaBeouf has had recent troubles but at least he's working again. Anyways, an Old West thriller/action movie with a twist. Looks good.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Zl7S1LaPMU

Gangster Squad (September 7, 2012) 

Starring: Sean Penn, Ryan Gosling, and Josh Brolin

This looks really damn good. It's another all-star cast hitting the screen here for what seems like a fast paced action movie about old LA.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N39ldLWDvQo

Liberal Arts (September 14, 2012) 

Starring: Josh Radnor and Zack Efron 

This will be the second movie that How I Met Your Mother star Josh Radnor has directed, written, and produced himself. The other, Happythankyoumoreplease. That one did not disappoint and hopefully this one won't either.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrXhX4oSE5U

Looper (Septemeber 28, 2012)

Starring: Bruce Willis, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Emily Blunt, and Paul Dano

This wins my "Most Anticipated Movie of the Next Three Months" award (Lawless being a close second). It looks amazing and it is great to see Bruce Willis back in action movies again. The second G.I. Joe, this, and the Cold Light of Day. Also a new Die hard in 2013 and.... that's for later. Also, I want to see what Joseph Gordon-Levitt, one of my favorite actors, can do in this role. He hasn't been in an action role yet and the closest he came to it was Inception which wasn't too action-y on his part. With three hours in the makeup chair every day, they made Levitt look like a cross between him and Willis. He also supposedly studied him and his voice/acting to get a rough imitation and his mannerisms down. Director Rian Johnson wrote the part specifically for him so they could work together again (Brick being the previous one). It also brings Jeff Daniels back with JGL (The Lookout). This also seems to have an amazing story line. A super badass looking Sci-Fi action.  
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2iQuhsmtfHw

Well that's all for now. Tomorrows update will be a few games for the Android system. Friday's? 
The Dark Knight Rises.

Born of Hope

Hey look it's Wednesday and I'm talking about a movie again. This is what you guys are used to from me.

Today I'd like to talk about Born of Hope. A lot of you are probably saying, "What the fuck is Born of Hope, I've never heard of it?" Well I'd never heard of it either until I stumbled across it. Born of Hope is a prequel to the Lord of The Rings trilogy. And I'm gonna have to ask you to stop that angry comment right now. I'm sure some of you were already going down to tell me how wrong I was and that the only prequel to LOTR is The Hobbit which isn't even out yet. And how fucking sweet does that movie look? Cannot wait. And honestly people, if you wanna tell me what an idiot I am, at least be nice about it. You don't have to be like "You are such a fucking stupid pile of shit Green." Perhaps try something like "Sire Green upon this day I would like to inform thee that thine intellect is less than that of the common raccoon." But no Born of Hope is indeed a prequel to LOTR. It is just not written by Tolkien. And now a lot of you people are probably saying "Whhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat. You crazy Green." Allow me to explain. Born of Hope is essentially a fan-made prequel to LOTR that focuses on Aragorn's parents, specifically his father. Now I'm sure a lot of you are wondering how this is possible. Well here's how it works: BoH was made using some of the intellectual propery from the LOTR trilogy, normally this would be copyright infringement and theyy would have be sued in the ground so hard they would melt from the heat coming off the center of the earth. This only work because BoH was not made for money. BoH exists solely to entertain. That is it's only purpose. Basically a group of guys got together and said LOTR is cool and we should make a prequel about Aragorn's daddy. And they did it for, in movie terms, what amounts to pennies. And this movie now exists totally free for you to watch. That's awesome. Even if this movie sucked, just the fact that it exists is cool. These guys wanted to make a movie just so people could watch and enjoy the movie and they did and you can.

So then, the big question. That very cool story of some artists aside, is the movie actually any good? Honestly? Yeah. It's not on the same level with the actually trilogy but this movie was made for £25,000 and the collective cost of the trilogy was $281 million. But I think for what it's doing, BoH is actually a decent movie. It's a tad short clocking in at just over an hour but subject matter should dictate length and that story took just over an hour to tell.

Plot
As I said earlier the story focuses on Aragorn's father but I did not mention the narrator who tell the story.  He leads a small band of rangers who fight against the orcs that have been ransacking villages and killing people while flirting with this girl he met.

And I don't wanna say to much more both for spoiler reasons and cause honestly, if you like LOTR at all, go watch this movie. It's not a huge time commitment like the actual trilogy (Each one being three damn hours if you get the extended director's holy Jesus cut), it's totally free, and it's good. And I'll even put a link here so you don't have to go look for it.

http://www.bornofhope.com/Watch.html

8 sword-wielding badasses out of 10

Cool stuff is happening

So as you are all now well aware we have changed our name. Tech Talk is no more and from this point on we shall be refereed to as Colored Media. Hopefully you all made it here from Tech Talk okay, I know the name change ruined my bookmark, so hopefully that didn't cause you guys (And gals, that's right we're not sexist here. We love ya ladies.) any troubles.

so in addition to our new name Blue told me something else  cool about the blog this week. We've reached 500 pageviews. and I'm sure some of you are probably thinking "500 views? That's nothing. I piss 500 views a day." Well to you sir, I have two things to say. One: Your anatomy is highly confusing and I don't understand it but I'm gonna recommend you see a doctor, cause that does not sound healthy. And everyone has to start somewhere. So when this blog was 500,000 views, you'll be able to tell everyone you know that you were reading Colored Media before it was cool.

So thank you guys and if you like what we do, stick around cause we haven't any plans to stop.

And that bastard Blue took my idea! I was gonna do a week of updates. Mine will be next week though. But Wednesday and Friday you can still expect to see content from me.

I think that's everything.

Peace
 - Green

The Nook Color

Seeing as I have been slacking on posts lately I am going to make it up to you with a post everyday this week. Music, movies, games, and even a tech post (yeah, after we change the name)! That last one is today's entry and it is about the Barnes & Noble Nook Color. Yes, I know that the Nook Tablet is out but it doesn't do ANYTHING more than the Color does, it just does it twice as fast. Back to the NC. I recommend that any reader get some type of eReader because books are moving towards the digital age much like everything else and the books are also cheaper. There is one other reason that I would recommend the NC or the NT to readers over other eReaders. With the NC or NT you can "root" the device and turn it into a fully functioning android tablet. See, the NC and NT both have the capacity and hardware to be so much more than Barnes & Noble would allow them and in my opinion, that's just wrong. The equivalent would be to be able to own a plane, but only be able to drive it on the freeway (if it were possible). See what I'm getting at here? 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyuWhGzIARE&feature=player_embedded

That right there is MY actual rooted Nook Color. It shows that it has the android interface, I run a few android apps, and then I show that the reader function still works as it should. 

http://forum.xda-developers.com/showthread.php?t=1494901

That is the guide that I used to root the NC.

Here are the benefits of rooting your NC or NT

1. It opens up many more possibilities for your device.

2. Turns it into something MORE. Sure reading is fun, but just knowing that you could quit reading and start playing Temple Run is quite awesome.

3. It is a cheap alternative to getting an actual Android tablet. If you have a NC and you want to upgrade to a tablet, don't. Just root and enjoy. 

4. They have a decent amount of space once rooted for storing apps. Add in the SD card and that is even more room.

5. You may be thinking, "Why would I do that? I have an Android phone." Your phone does not have a 7inch screen does it? Angry Birds, Temple Run, and Cartoon Wars are all markedly improved because of the larger screen.

Here are the cons of rooting your NC or NT

1. Rooting some of the later software versions make it semi-difficult to navigate. With a few tweaks though this can be fixed. 

2. Barnes & Noble have these VERY annoying things called OTA's, or Over The Air Updates. This means that if your WiFi is on and there is an update, it will eventually updates. There are ways to block these, the cleanest and fastest however, cost $7 in apps. That is what I went with. 

As you can see, there really aren't many reasons not to root the NC. It is simply allowing the device to lie up to it's full potential.

Name Change

Hello there loyal readers (all zero of you), if you're here you might have noticed a name change. That's right, as of July 24, 2012, Tech Talk is no more. We are now Colored Media. The reason for this is because we hardly talk about tech at ALL. Like none. So what we have decided to do is change our name. After consideration we decided upon Colored Media. Why you ask? It's because we are Blue and Green. Thank you and remember to update those bookmarks!

From all of us here at Colored Media,
Enjoy your media.

Uncaged by Zac Brown Band

Uncaged by Zac Brown Band 

Released July 10, 2012

Label: Atlantic

This was another album that I was overly excited about when I learned of it's set release date. I have been a big fan of ZBB since The Foundation and they don't disappoint here. The thing that can be said about this band is that each album has a unique sound to it. The Foundation has a natural upbeat southern rock to it. You Get What You Give focuses more on the country aspects of their sound and a few from the last one. They have previous albums too, but there are quite a few repeats. Uncaged keep elements from both of those two and adds it's own sound to it. This time around Zac Brown Band adds in an island element to their music that is quite refreshing. One thing to keep in mind about this album is that it is a Zac Brown BAND album. Brown does not even do all the leading vocals throughout the album and they highlight what every member of the band can do. It's bands like these guys, that come up with new things and can change their sound, that fans will never tire of them. 


Track List 
1. Jump Right In*
2. Uncaged
3. Goodbye In Her Eyes*
4. The Wind
5. Island Song*
6. Sweet Annie*
7. Natural Disaster
8. Overnight (feat. Trombone Shorty)*
9. Lance's Song
10. Day That I Die (feat. Amos Lee)*
11. Last But Not Least


Notable Mention


Jump Right In
As soon as it starts you can tell it's not your average country song. It has the islandy feel that I brought up before. It''s good to know that bands can still change their sound and be good in more than one genre.


Goodbye In Her Eyes
This is a song that is written much like it could be a B-Side for YGWYG but it is MUCH too good to be a B-Side. Great song.


Island Song
Such a great song that is clearly Bob Marley inspired. The thing that I like about this is that they can write music like this and like they have in all their previous albums and be good in all of it.


Sweet Annie
This highlights just how lyrically brilliant this band can be. 


Overnight (feat Trombone Shorty)
I could do without this song. Not saying it's terrible, but it just doesn't seem to fit. It does though show yet ANOTHER genre ZBB could be good at.


Day That I Die
I hear a Martin-esque guitar part here. In the beginning it almost sound like its the EXACT same. Other than that the song send a good message and it is a powerful song. 8 acoustic Martin guitars out of 10 


8 Martin guitars out of 10

Bioshock 2

Sorry about the whole not putting up a review last week. I admit I’m not perfect, though I am closer than just about everyone else. Anyway yeah sorry.

Been a while since I did a game review there will probably be more comin up soon though.

Bioshock two
I played the first Bioshock and it was great, the story, the mechanics, it was all great really a good game. So when Bioshock two showed up I decided to grab it and recently decided to play through it again, hence this review. And while I can’t recall how I felt about the game the first time I bought it this time I’m liking the game less and less as I continue through it. Honestly I don’t even know if I’m gonna bother beating it or not. And let me stop you right there before you grab your wood and nails and crucify me in the comments for talking about a game I haven’t beaten. First off I have beat it before, I did the good ending for those of you wondering. Secondly, if 80% of a game kinda sucks, ten to one odd then ending sucks too and even if the ending was just okay it wouldn’t make up for the sucky first four fifths of the game. However the first 80% of this game doesn’t suck. The game actually starts out really fun, though thinking about it that’s probably just cause I hadn’t become annoyed yet with the two major problems the game has.

Problem one: Hacking
For those of you who aren’t aware Bioshock has a great deal or machinery and robotics lying around everywhere. There are vending machines to purchase items, turrets, security cameras that can summon drones, and other stuff too. Now the guys at 2K had a cool idea with all this stuff: They allow the player to hack into the machines and get a slew of bonuses from doing so. Vending machines lower prices, turrets become friendly, security cameras will send drones to kill enemies instead of you, health stations will spew poisonous gas into the face of any baddie who tries to use them. You get the idea here hacking = good stuff. However, you can hack bloody fucking everything, nearly every single room, in every area of every level has like tow hackable things in it. Let me stop another angry commenter here, yes I know I don’t have to hack every machine in the game, I could just not bother with it on health stations and vending machines and just break security cameras and turrets. I know this. But when I break a security camera I fell the same as I would if I used a rocket on a grunt in halo minus the hilarity of seeing his silly body flying through the sky. Using a rocket on a grunt is a waste of that rockets potential damage dealing. It should be saved for a group of guys or a big baddie with a load of health. When I break a camera it can’t help me out later, and I don’t get the health and eve (eve is essentially mana) restorative I would of if I had hacked it. So this being the way it is I feel the need to hack everything I see, which is a serious pain in the ass when I’m hacking the seventh thing in five minute window and just failed the hack cause I’m pissed off which caused fucking security drones to come for my ass. So yeah way too much hacking.

Problem two: The spawn rate
So Bioshock is divided into levels and each level is quite expansive and looks different and unique from the last. Seriously, they all look pleasingly different from the last and one thing I’m certainly not sick of most of the way through the game is the aesthetics. Big props to the artists and set design on this. You guys did a fantastic job. And I love the large open levels that allow and even encourage exploration with rewards for the player tucked away in little corners here and there. In fact one of my favorite gene tonics (Passive upgrade) in the game I found while rooting around some guys basement in siren alley that I would never have had reason to enter if I simply followed the quest arrow. The thing about very large open areas is that they tend to require back tracking through rooms you already looted and killed the inhabitants of. Personally I don’t mind going back through the areas of rapture, as I said the areas are beautifully designed and having to see some of the rooms a handful of times does not bother me at all. However 2K decided with all the backtracking that needs to be done they needed to have enemies show up in rooms the player had already completed. This normally wouldn’t bother me at all except that they respawn something like every three seconds and it’s always the same ones. It’s always two three baddies with tommy guns and shotguns. Rarely there’ll be a Houdini or a spider splicer. But 90% shotgun and tommy gun guys. While I do think the repawn rate is simply too high, enemies showing up in a room the very instant you leave or I feel sometimes if the game decided you’re just hanging around that room for too long. That coupled with the fact there is no variance in the enemies that do this. The game has more than two types of enemies in it; but for some reason having a guy with a pipe or a pistol or having one of those big brutes be on room insta-spawn is too complicated, though thinking about it with the spawn rate as high as it is if the brutes had any chance to show up you would never have ammo for anything since they just eat bullets like nobody’s business.

Now these two issues aside, it’s a great game. However, I find it basically impossible to put these points aside as they show up constantly. I know blue really hated one of the mini-games in FFXIII-2 but that mini-game only showed up twice ever so it didn’t ruin the fucking game for him. I’m honestly finding it difficult to continue enjoying Bioshock two because these problems occur ad infinitum.

I hate saying that. I loved the first Bioshock and I loved the beginning of this one, but these just ruin it in my opinion. Please please please 2K fix these before you put out Bioshock infinite. I want to like that game. I really do.

4 massive disappointments out of 10

Hello there!

Well I am sorry...... once again. My posts have been irregular as of late and I do feel moderately bad for that. I really do need to start doing this more often but I've been quite busy lately watching movies and listening to music to have material for you i just have gotten bad about writing about it. I am back though (hopefully). I will say this right quick before I go. Go see The Dark Knight Rises. Review of this later.

Clockwork Angels by Rush

Clockwork Angels by Rush

Released June 12, 2012

Label: Roadrunner

I have not been able to listen to Rush's Moving Pictures EP and not see Paul Rudd and Jason Segel jumping around badly miming Giddy Lee and Alex Lifeson so when I heard a new Rush album was coming out I was eager to hear. One of the most celebrated rock bands of all time puts together another album here and they deliver. Let me say first that if you don't like Rush this won't be for you. They haven't changed over the course of 15+ studio albums previous and you really shouldn't expect them to change now. With that being said I think that this is probably Rush's best work in..... well ever. These guys have been together for 30+ years and they have the same unique style that they've kept the whole time. I admit I was a bit skeptical because of the hype surrounding this album but I was thoroughly impressed by it. They buckle down and focus on musical focus and some great lyrics here written. 

Notable Tracks:

Track Seven: Seven Cities of Gold

It's damn catchy and the intro is killer.

Track Eight: The Wreckers

Classic Rush in the style of the Moving Pictures EP but even better in my opinion. 

Track Ten: Wish Them Well

What's not to like about this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mv8zCQ4Itf8 check it out.

Track Twelve: The Garden

They end the album with a good song. 

Track List

1. Caravans

2. BU2B

3. Clockwork Angels

4. The Anarchist

5. Carnies

6. Halo Effect

7. Seven Cities of Gold*

8. The Wreckers*

9. Headlong Flight

10. BU2B2

11. Wish Them Well*

12. The Garden*

7 living rock legends out of 10

I did this one a little bit different and I just singled out the really good tracks as opposed to running through the entire album and giving thoughts on most of them. Yeah, less on each review but just a good bass line doesn't make the track good (maybe worth a listen by a fellow bassist such as me, but that's besides the point). I would also single out really bad tracks but there are none of them here to be had. That's all. 

Hard Candy Review

So this movie, well fuck this'll be interesting.

Plot
Ellen Page stars in the film playing a fourteen year old girl. In short order the girl agrees to meet up with a guy she's been talking to on the internet and then further agrees to get into the car of this guy, he's thirty-two by the way, and go to his house. Of course nothing could possibly go wrong with a 32-year-old male and a 14-year-old girl alone together and that's exactly how the movie plays out. First they listen to music, then they play cards, then she falls asleep and he carefully puts her into his bed and sleep on the couch like a true gentleman. Of course that last sentence was utter bullshit. Clearly Jeff, the guy, wants to get all creepy molester mode with Hayley, the girl. Only stuff doesn't go the way you, him, her, or anyone else expects it to. And that's all I'm gonna say.

Going into this movie I was a bit uneasy just cause of the premise but my skin really started to crawl once shit really started going down. And that is such an understatement. This movie was just bizarre.  Now the thing about this type of movie though, I'll never watch it again. Once I started it I couldn't sop and the plot is really damn good and I couldn't guess it, every time I tried I was wrong. Page, I have to comment one. She does an amazing job at her role, hands fucking down, she makes this movie. She does so damn well at her role, I would watch a movie of her watching paint dry on grass that she's watching die if she committed this much to that role too.

Seriously, go fucking watch this, it's fucked up and unpredictable. Page knocks it out of the park with her acting. It's not just another film full of shit blowing up or another stupid love story.

9 plot-twists out of 10

The Amazing Spiderman Review

Alright so this fourth of July instead of blowing shit up and having a barbecue I went to the movies, and, as anyone who read the title can guess, I saw the new Spiderman movie.

So let's break it down,

Plot
This is a re-vamp so Peter is just a kid at the beginning back in high school without powers. Obviously, in short order he gets bitten by a super spider and gains some cool abilities. Then some guy decides he wants a better life and the obvious way to go about getting one was to turn himself into a giant mutant anthro-lizard. This was actually what I was gonna do when I wanted a better life too, but you would not believe how hard it is to turn yourself into a giant anthro-lizard. It's really tough. I was able to manage an anthro-hawk, anthro-panther, and even an anthro-cupcake but I couldn't pull off lizard so sadly my life sucks. What was I talking about again? Or yeah right Spiderman. What do you want me to say about the plot people? Honestly, there's not much to say. It's a superhero movie. There's a good guy and a bad guy, they fight, the good guy wins. And that is not a fucking spoiler, anyone who was thinking there was any chance of Spiderman losing, I don't even have words for you. Just go take a shovel, dig a hole, and hit yourself in the face with the shovel till you collapse into the hole. Then have your friends bury you, presuming you have any friends.

So yeah is it good? I liked it... some. I think the one thing that makes this movie really work is the actor playing Peter. Peter seems like a much more believable high school kid that got bit and got all these powers. I would list examples here, but they would constitute various degrees of spoiler so that's not happening. Anyway, Peter actually seems like a real kid and I like that. That's really all I have to say about the movie though. Nothing else really sticks out to me other than very slightly the bad guy and his weird mental issue that's never explained. I mean I guess if you turn yourself into a giant lizard you probably aren't right in the head, but then he develops like split personality syndrome for no damn reason in this weird Dr. Jekyl Mr. Hyde bit, that only serves to make the bad guy seem like some twisted, tragic loss instead of just letting him be evil. Why? Why can't the bad guy just be bad? Why can't he just hate people and want to be a lizard and fucking tear people in half? So he can save Peter from something he caused that peter still didn't need saving from? That's a fucking stupid reason. Looking back, the only reason this movie is good is because of the actor playing Peter, if not for him this would be bland and forgettable and it's still verging on forgettable for me.

So it's passable but there's a lot here that was done poorly or just plain wrong.

6 destroyed families of superheros out of 10

**Minor spoiler**
And what the fuck!? Where was Uncles Ben's fucking quote!? I thought maybe there at the end in the voice mail on his phone but no, he never says "With great power comes great responsibility." I don't who decided to not include that but fuck you.

Review of Ted

Ted

Although it probably isn't going to be the biggest smash box office hit but in my opinion it is the funniest movie released since Hangover. The first one. Ya know, the one that was good and not just redone.

This movie works on every level that it tries and it feels great to say that Seth MacFarlane's film debut is a success. It is some mindless fun with A LOT of jokes. The theater I was in was laughing non-stop the entire time. If you even slighty enjoy Family Guy, American Dad, or the Clevland Show, you will enjoy Ted. So here is a plot run down and as Green says, spoiler free.

The movie starts telling about how Ted came to be alive. From there it goes right into where the meat of the story is. Mila Kunis, who is Mark Wahlberg's girlfriend, says that Ted is dragging him down and basically it boils down to Mark trying to grow up and be in a relationship as well as keeping his childhood friend. Even if you replaced Ted with a stupid human friend and changed a few lines of dialouge it would still be decent. The teddy bear voice by Seth MacFarlane just makes it better.

9.5 potty-mouthed teddy bears outta 10

Believe by Justin Bieber

Believe by Justin Bieber

Released: June 15, 2012

Label: Island Records

I decided to review this because..... well why the hell not? I was pleasantly surprised by Bieber's new studio album. Anything I have ever heard from him other than the lead single Boyfriend is not for me. Then he comes out with this. And it's good. My biggest piece of advice for people who listen to music of this genre is do NOT discount it because of the name on the cover. I firmly believe that good music is good music, no matter who writes it which is really why I gave this album a chance. With this album he is clearly trying to shed previous conceptions about him and make himself a new image. It largely works seeing as it as some elements of pop, rap, hip-hop, and R&B as opposed to largely being just a pop artist. The album really starts to show his maturity as an artist and his ability to branch out into more than just one genre.

Track One - All Around the World feat. Ludacris
The track to start it off moves you. It has a great beat and makes you want to move because of its "dancy" feel to it. Ludacris' verse is pretty good too.

Track Two - Boyfriend
This is the track that got me to give this album a try. I was driving around and this song came on the radio. Usually I listen to my iPod as I'm driving but I had forgotten it. After the first chorus I found myself singing along to it and I used Soundhound to find out what it was. From then on I decided I would give this album a try.

Track Three - As Long As You Love Me feat. Big Sean
The song has some good lyrics and a damn good beat. In all honesty, just consider a good beat to be on pretty much every track on this album.

Track Four - Take You
The acoustic intro is pretty damn kick ass.

Track Five - Right Here feat. Drake
I'm not a big Drake fan, so this is just decent for me.

Track Six - Catching Feelings
A little slow, but it is not a bad song. The acoustic through it is again is a great touch.

Track Seven - Fall

Track Eight - Die In Your Arms
Samples some Michael Jackson here.

Track Nine - Thought of You

Track Ten - Beauty and a Beat feat. Nicki Minaj
Again, not the biggest Minaj fan but the beat is great and JB really carries it.

Track Eleven - One Love
Only track I can say I don't like.

Track Twelve - Be Alright
Hands down my favorite song off of this album. I play guitar and can appreciate a good guitar line, and that is exactly what this is. Yeah, it really just rinses and repeats but it is really damn catchy.

Track Thirteen - Believe
This follows the trend of almost every other album titled track. Eh.

Track Fourteen - Outta Town Girl
Pretty badass song. This alone makes getting the bonus/deluxe version worth it.

Track Fifteen - She Don't Like The Lights

Track Sixteen - Maria
Channeling his inner Michael Jackson here. This sounds a lot like something Jackson had done when he was writing music. A bit modernized though. This make the bonus/deluxe worth it as well.


7 boyfriends with outta town girls 10

YouTube top five (July 9th 2012) (New series!)

What's going on everyone, I'd like to welcome you all to my new thing; YouTube top five. Plan is once a month, typically on the first, though it's obviously late this month cause I just thought this up, I will go to YouTube and watch/listen to the top five music videos then come back here and tell you all how stupid they are, er uhh no I mean review them all in a professional and dignified manner. Yup that's what I meant. I don't intend on giving these reviews a numerical score unless you guys really ask for it. If I did give these a score I see two ways that would work, Either each song get's its own rating out of ten, or I could review the five as bundle and give them one collective score, If either of those sound neat or if you have some third idea, let me know in the comments

Well here we go, this month's YouTube top five.

#1 Carly Rae Jepsen - Call Me Maybe

So this song is alright. It's not that good, but it's alright. I wanna take a moment here to talk about some of the lyrics. "Before you came into my life, I missed you so bad." Wait what? Before he came into your life you didn't know he existed. How can you miss something you don't know exists? "It's hard to look right at you baby." Really Mrs. Jepsen? You found an individual so amazingly good looking and beautiful that he is on par with the visual appeal of the Greek king of gods Zeus himself, and if you were to gaze directly upon his true form your puny human eyes would burst into flame at heralding such raw magnificence as him. Now then, the big on, the chorus itself. "Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number. So call me maybe." Jepsen you whore! Giving your phone number to a man you just met I bet you let him look at your ankles too didn't you. What would your mother think of you? And the car washing scene, honestly, if you're that desperate to get him to see you, take off your shirt, walk over to him, grab his head, and shove it between your tits. You'll get his attention I promise. But like I said at the beginning, the songs alright.

#2 Maroon 5 - Payphone (feat. Wiz Khalifa)

I was pleasantly surprised to see this in the top five. I'd expected this to be largely songs I'd never heard and might not like. But I have both heard and like this song before. So there's my opinion of this one; I like it. It's good. It's really good. I like cause it's real. "If happy ever afters did exist, I would still be holding you like this. And all those fairy tales are full of shit. One fucking love song I'll be sick." That's real. Fairy tales are cute stories. This song doesn't make me cynical though. It's just like, yeah man I know what you mean.

#3 Justin Beiber - Boyfriend

This is the kind of song I expected I'd run into with this idea of mine. I was sure I would find wildly popular songs from artists that I would almost certainly hate sitting through. Only thing is, I didn't hate it. I thought I'd hate it, but I didn't. I didn't like it really but it was a pleasant surprise compare to what I had expected. When he hits the lyric "I'd like to be everything you want, hey girl lemme talk to you," I actually like his singing, and if the entire song were done like that then I would actually like this song, despite it feeling odd for me to say that. But ya know in the end, Beiber may have looked and sounded like a girl for a while but are we all forgetting the fucking king of pop who did the same damn thing. That's right, I just compared Justin Bieber to Michael fucking Jackson. Deal with it.

#4 Katy Perry - Wide Awake
Alright Katy Perry, I don't actually hate her music much like you might assume a young heterosexual male would. I actually kind like California girlz for a reason other than seeing a nude Katy Perry laying on a pink cloud. I definitely like seeing that though. Yes please. But yeah Wide awake, It's okay. I like the gothic outfit she wears in it. Again yes please. But the actual music part is decent. I don't really like it, but it's alright. Decent beat and she's got a good voice.

#5 Gotye - Somebody That I Used To Know (feat. Kimbra)
Eh, this is not for me. There's nothing I found really wrong with it, but I just don't listen to stuff like this. The video is random. Some naked dude get's slowly painted, then a painted girl shows up. I really don't have anything to say about this piece. It's not bad but it's not my taste.

Allow me to speak candidly for a moment

So then, we all know there haven't been posts recently. I apologize for that. I am one under-motivated, forgetful college student. Even with Blue we are just two people so I ask for a little bit of patience. Anyway, that being said, I do intend to continue with my two movies per week as well as a new series I'm going to be starting that is planned for one update a month. The new series will cover the current top five music videos on youtube. It's possible that if I see that group changes often enough the series may become every other week, but at least for now it's going to be coming out on the first of each month and today for this month. I also still do plan to have the occasional video game review or possibly other stuff like anime perhaps or I may talk about last.fm sometime soon, I'm not totally sure of everything but I don't intend on going anywhere or stopping posts. Just work with me a little if I miss one please. Thanks guys.

As always, if there's a movie you want reviewed or questions or comments you would like to ask feel free to comment on this or any post or send myself and Blue and e-mail.

Peace!

-Green

Double update spectacular

This post will cover Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and Brave both of which are still in theaters if you want to go see them and since the rush is over now that they've been out for a bit, getting a ticket should be easy.

Brave

So then Brave, it's a Pixar movie. And honestly I feel like I can stop here. Brave is a movie that exists, at least in my opinion, only cause one exec at Pixar turned to another and said "Hey Jerry, my money throne feels a little shorter then usual. We should make another movie." So they did. Pixar made another movie and there's nothing remarkable about it. It's not bad by any means, it's just absolutely run-of-the-mill. Maybe I remember the older movies fondly cause I was a child and easier to impress, but this was just bland.

Plot

Some viking princess is coming of age and her mother expects her do do exactly what she's told and give herself to which ever young viking lad can best fire an arrow, since apparently women are worthless here despite the queen clearly running the place and not the king. But that was probably done intentionally so that the women wouldn't look totally useless. Anyway the chick tries to weasel out of getting married, her mom gets mad, there's a tooth-rottingly sweet moral at the end and everyone lived happily ever after.

Now I don't think Pixar makes bad movies; I can't think of even one movie Pixar made that I would call bad and tell people not to see it. That being said, this is the worst Pixar movie I've ever seen. The whole thing just reeks of not caring at all and just pushing out anything for us to lap up like hungry dogs just cause it's from Pixar.

Unless you really wanna go to the movies and have seen everything else even remotely interestingly sounding, don't see this.

4 utter cash-ins out of 10

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire HunterIn contrast to Brave, I liked this one. Now quick point to anyone who read the book and wants to see it cause of that; this movie takes almost nothing from the book apart from the title and the absolutely most basic level of the concept. Pretty much everything beyond that is different.

Plot

As a young boy Lincoln sees his mother killed by a vampire, and vows to kill as many of the blood-sucking fiends as possible. Along the way he meets a man named Henry who trains him how to fight and equips him with the weapons needed to kill the beasts of the night. Ultimately he decides he must get into politics, you'll see why, to truly destroy the vampire infestation in America and sets about doing just that.

So like I said before, It takes really nothing from the book, which I did read and thoroughly enjoy. Normally This would annoy me, but thinking about it the layout of the book really just does not line up with the typical action curve of a movie. In the book the entire last third of it is pretty much just Lincoln becoming president and dealing with the vampires through politics and not the head of an axe.The book is charming and witty and I'd recommend it if it sounds interesting, but I'm talking about the movie right now. The movie does still have Lincoln become president but most of it happens off screen since people came to see Lincoln swinging an axe not pushing papers. This also leads to and epic finale throwdown that was entirely non-existent in the book. The movie is well done and its a fun concept; Abraham Lincoln fought fucking vampires. It's not amazing, but it's a good time.

7.5 tragic origin stories out of 10

P.S. I really wanted to make this **SPOILER axe-guns! SPOILER**