YouTube top five (July 9th 2012) (New series!)

What's going on everyone, I'd like to welcome you all to my new thing; YouTube top five. Plan is once a month, typically on the first, though it's obviously late this month cause I just thought this up, I will go to YouTube and watch/listen to the top five music videos then come back here and tell you all how stupid they are, er uhh no I mean review them all in a professional and dignified manner. Yup that's what I meant. I don't intend on giving these reviews a numerical score unless you guys really ask for it. If I did give these a score I see two ways that would work, Either each song get's its own rating out of ten, or I could review the five as bundle and give them one collective score, If either of those sound neat or if you have some third idea, let me know in the comments

Well here we go, this month's YouTube top five.

#1 Carly Rae Jepsen - Call Me Maybe

So this song is alright. It's not that good, but it's alright. I wanna take a moment here to talk about some of the lyrics. "Before you came into my life, I missed you so bad." Wait what? Before he came into your life you didn't know he existed. How can you miss something you don't know exists? "It's hard to look right at you baby." Really Mrs. Jepsen? You found an individual so amazingly good looking and beautiful that he is on par with the visual appeal of the Greek king of gods Zeus himself, and if you were to gaze directly upon his true form your puny human eyes would burst into flame at heralding such raw magnificence as him. Now then, the big on, the chorus itself. "Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number. So call me maybe." Jepsen you whore! Giving your phone number to a man you just met I bet you let him look at your ankles too didn't you. What would your mother think of you? And the car washing scene, honestly, if you're that desperate to get him to see you, take off your shirt, walk over to him, grab his head, and shove it between your tits. You'll get his attention I promise. But like I said at the beginning, the songs alright.

#2 Maroon 5 - Payphone (feat. Wiz Khalifa)

I was pleasantly surprised to see this in the top five. I'd expected this to be largely songs I'd never heard and might not like. But I have both heard and like this song before. So there's my opinion of this one; I like it. It's good. It's really good. I like cause it's real. "If happy ever afters did exist, I would still be holding you like this. And all those fairy tales are full of shit. One fucking love song I'll be sick." That's real. Fairy tales are cute stories. This song doesn't make me cynical though. It's just like, yeah man I know what you mean.

#3 Justin Beiber - Boyfriend

This is the kind of song I expected I'd run into with this idea of mine. I was sure I would find wildly popular songs from artists that I would almost certainly hate sitting through. Only thing is, I didn't hate it. I thought I'd hate it, but I didn't. I didn't like it really but it was a pleasant surprise compare to what I had expected. When he hits the lyric "I'd like to be everything you want, hey girl lemme talk to you," I actually like his singing, and if the entire song were done like that then I would actually like this song, despite it feeling odd for me to say that. But ya know in the end, Beiber may have looked and sounded like a girl for a while but are we all forgetting the fucking king of pop who did the same damn thing. That's right, I just compared Justin Bieber to Michael fucking Jackson. Deal with it.

#4 Katy Perry - Wide Awake
Alright Katy Perry, I don't actually hate her music much like you might assume a young heterosexual male would. I actually kind like California girlz for a reason other than seeing a nude Katy Perry laying on a pink cloud. I definitely like seeing that though. Yes please. But yeah Wide awake, It's okay. I like the gothic outfit she wears in it. Again yes please. But the actual music part is decent. I don't really like it, but it's alright. Decent beat and she's got a good voice.

#5 Gotye - Somebody That I Used To Know (feat. Kimbra)
Eh, this is not for me. There's nothing I found really wrong with it, but I just don't listen to stuff like this. The video is random. Some naked dude get's slowly painted, then a painted girl shows up. I really don't have anything to say about this piece. It's not bad but it's not my taste.